Good grief recognizes the reality of the loss and understands that you’re not the same person before the cause of grief happened. But it also recognizes, slowly but surely, that life does indeed go on, and needs to, and it can even keep getting better as progress is made. It also realizes the reality of the sad dance of up and down, back-and-forth, two steps forward, one step back, then one step forward, two steps back.

Our ministry sometimes hears from those who are grieving and feel completely hopeless and purposeless in life. There’s no doubt that grieving a loved one’s death is a long, often lonely, always painful process. But I encourage those of you who might feel you now have no purpose: don’t throw away the calling God has for you to serve Him here until your time is done and He takes you home.

(Let me preface this blog by saying: if you have even fleeting thoughts of suicide, reach out right away for biblical perspective and counseling. Go to your friends and your pastor. Make an appointment with your physician. Rely on the Holy Spirit and the body of Christ, the local church. Contact www.christiansncrisis.com, https://samaritanshope.org, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, or text 741741 for crisis texting.)

I have advised friends who are struggling with feeling depressed to take a break from reading Christian books that are duty-driven, as the “do more” approach can lay unnecessary guilt on those who are vulnerable. Of course, books that are convicting and more demanding are exactly what some readers need! But not what the person already feeling hopeless needs. Start by reading books on God’s character such as A. W. Tozer’s The Knowledge of the Holy and Dane Ortlund’s Gentle and Lowly. I also recommend these three books on grace, each different than the other: Phil Yancey’s What’s So Amazing About Grace?, Max Lucado’s Grace: More Than We Deserve, Greater Than We Imagine, and Chuck Swindoll’s The Grace Awakening. (Check out this list of podcasts and books for more recommendations.)

Take walks where you can look at God’s creation. Two of the Great Physician’s effective therapeutic treatments are sun and fresh air. Make time outdoors part of your daily plan. It could be working in the garden or a daily walk, but either way, get out and do something. It doesn’t have to be a cloudless day to benefit from sunlight or fresh air.

Whether or not you’ve ever had a pet, especially if you live alone, I highly recommend you consider getting one.

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