Grieving the loss of a loved one is a painful process that takes time. The hurt is unavoidable as the soul reckons with their absence. And the agony like a hurricane can seem so powerful that it will destroy us. Yet God’s Word tells us that when we are at our lowest, we call out to Him and His Word for strength (Ps. 119:28). That Word tells us that death is temporary, and Christ is victorious. In the meantime, we can cast ourselves upon Him, and He will lead us, guide us, and even give us rest (Matt. 11:28–30).
Nothing hurts as badly as the loss of a loved one. We were not created or designed to experience separation from those whom we hold dear. Death is a result of sin and is not a part of the original creation order (Rom. 5:12)—little wonder it causes so much pain when we lose someone we love. Our souls cry out to hear the voices of those we love, to feel their arms wrapped around us, to look into their eyes and get lost in their souls once again. The ache is vast, overwhelming, and often indescribable. It’s a raging storm of hurt, fear, sadness, and anger. And if we are not careful, it can overtake us. How can a believer make it through the loss of a loved one well?
First, you must recognize what you are likely to face. There have been many attempts to describe what the process of grieving is like, but I’ve found that the analogy of a storm seems especially helpful. It’s a biblical image—both literally (Jonah 2:3) and figuratively (Ps. 42:7; 88:7). When we naturally talk about being overwhelmed by grief, we often describe it as a feeling of “drowning.” Know, then, that going through the grief of a loved one is like going through a tumultuous sea. There are times when it appears that the breakers are too much, that we will never make it to that foreign shore of acceptance.
Yet this is where Paul’s exhortation to the Thessalonians is so helpful:
But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep. (1 Thess. 4:13–14).
Like an unsinkable lifeboat, no matter how tall the waves of grief—though they be like mountains—Christ will not let you drown. He has defeated death (1 Cor. 15:55).
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