The process of grieving is not a sprint; it’s more like a marathon, with plenty of hills, and the need to drink a lot of water along the way. But it does get better in time.

On March 13, I lost a dear friend in John Perkins; on March 19, I lost a very close friend, Carlos “Chuck” Norris (I will eventually write my thoughts about him, now is just too soon); and tomorrow, Saturday, March 28 is the fourth anniversary of Nanci’s death.

For those who recently began your grief process, I can assure you that if you know Him, and reach out to Him, God will be there for you. “Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you” (James 4:8). He’ll be faithful. If you’re not certain you know God, you can become certain. See this article, as well as a 90-second explanation of the gospel I gave when asked by Greg Laurie.

The process of grieving is not a sprint; it’s more like a marathon, with plenty of hills, and the need to drink a lot of water along the way. There will be a roller coaster of emotions, and right when do you think you’ve “gotten over” the grief, it comes back with a vengeance. But it does get better in time. (And if it doesn’t, please reach out for help from your church, pastor, or Christian friend. I highly recommend GriefShare.)

In a strange way, grief can be a gift—somehow even a privilege—and for me it has been a daily companion. It is much easier to live with now than at first, but even right after Nanci’s death, I always knew that the only cure for my grief would’ve been to have loved her less. But the absence of love isn’t a good solution to anything; rather, it is itself a disease. We grieve because we love, and we need to embrace love, not deny it or push it away from our hearts. Pushing your loved one out of your mind is not healthy grieving—it is denial, and actually slows down your ability to grieve properly.

Dr. Colin Murray Parkes wrote:

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