Presence and listening are wonderful ways to serve a person in need, but prayer unleashes the resources of Heaven on the earth and upon these sacred moments.

There are times in life when we have the sacred opportunity to comfort a grieving person. Life in a fallen world guarantees that trouble of some variety is coming for us all. We’ll experience hard things and have opportunities to comfort others experiencing hard things. We can count on it.

I’ve had the privilege of sitting with people during some of their low moments. Whether facing addiction, divorce, or the loss of a loved one, people have held out their hearts to me in a time of need. I can’t properly express how honored I feel that people trust me enough to sit with them in such moments. These are deeply human and extremely sacred spaces.

Though every person’s grief is unique, I’ve learned five practices I believe are essential when comforting the grieving.

Be Present

First, we must practice the ministry of presence. Being present means eliminating all distractions so we can devote our full attention to the person in need. One way to do this is by silencing phone notifications before the meeting. Nothing sends a poorer message than checking our cell phone while the person next to us is in tears. It’s insensitive. Silence the phone, put it away, and be present in the moment.

Use Appropriate Touch

Next, a gentle touch can speak volumes to a person experiencing grief. Many times, older people have gone years without a comforting touch. Consider placing a hand on their shoulder or knee. Maybe hold hands or give them a hug.

Of course, don’t be weird. In our hyper-sexualized world and in an age when abuse is sadly common, especially toward older people, we must be careful not to cross any lines or send a wrong message. If the grieving person is of the opposite sex, in most cases, I avoid touch of any kind. The only exception is if I’m with another person and ask permission. I’m a big fan of asking permission. Sometimes, if I know a person well and have built trust over time, I may not ask permission. But if I’m with someone I barely know or just met, I follow these guidelines strictly.

Read More