Like conversation within a healthy marriage, prayer is ideally frequent and organic. If I only spoke to my wife during scheduled periods of time either at the beginning or end of the day—or worse still, only on Sundays—there could be a problem. At the same time, scheduling purposeful moments to have deeper, uninterrupted conversation, perhaps while the children are in bed or while we’re out to dinner, is extremely healthy.

A friend of mine is only weeks away from getting married. One thing I’ve emphasized to him this year is that good communication is one of the keys to a fruitful marriage. As relational beings made in the image of God, we all recognize this vital aspect of intimate relationships. That is why it is helpful to remember that prayer is, as John Calvin often referred to it, “conversation with God.”

When should we pray? Like conversation within a healthy marriage, prayer is ideally frequent and organic. If I only spoke to my wife during scheduled periods of time either at the beginning or end of the day—or worse still, only on Sundays—there could be a problem. At the same time, scheduling purposeful moments to have deeper, uninterrupted conversation, perhaps while the children are in bed or while we’re out to dinner, is extremely healthy. We see this tension in Scripture when it charges us both to “pray without ceasing” in a very organic manner (1 Thess. 5:17) and also records Christians praying at set times and not accidentally stumbling into it.

It didn’t take me long as a Christian to learn that if I did not set aside a daily time to pray, the busyness of life would all too easily get in the way. To not prioritize prayer is to prioritize something else. At the same time, I also learned that when I emphasize a set time to pray, I have the tendency to begin treating it like just another item on my to-do list. I can fall into the trap of checking God off and forgetting Him. A getting-things-done approach to prayer can lead to neglecting the Lord throughout the day. Don’t despair. Like communication in a healthy marriage, by God’s grace, a healthy prayer life develops over time.

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