Aunt June, That sounds nice, but tell me: how am I supposed to find a Christian guy these days—somebody who actually wants a relationship? All the guys I meet want to party until they’re 35. I feel like I have to give in some or I’ll never meet anybody. It’s not like there’s some single guy at church; practically everybody is married with four kids

The following article is a reprint from the June issue of the OPC Magazine, New Horizons.  The article is fictious  (Kelly and Aunt June do not exist).  The article is a composite work of three ladies who are members of OPC congregations and who have asked to remain anonymous.

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Dear Kelly,

Now that you’re off to your dream job in the big city, I don’t seem to be hearing from you anymore. I’m sure you’re busy, but your old aunt would love an update.

Love, Aunt June

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Dear Aunt June,

Sorry I’ve been out of touch. Life is crazy right now! First I had to find an apartment, and then I started my job. Work is so busy! I end up spending extra hours there, trying to learn the trade. On the good side, there are five other college graduates at work too, which is fun and a real stress-buster! We all go out after work. I’ve been spending lots of time with Ryan, an Indiana State graduate. He’s a total goof and keeps everybody cracking up. He and I hang out on weekends, too, so it seems like there’s never a spare minute! That’s all the news here.

Love, Kelly

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

My dear niece,

I might as well say it: I hear alarm bells. You don’t sound like my levelheaded niece. Honey, I want you to enjoy your new job, coworkers, and independent life. I don’t want to be a killjoy. But I am concerned that your message seems to center around “fun.” Yes, you’re spending extra hours at work, but you don’t mention any activities besides going out with coworkers, especially Ryan.

Kelly, are you going to church? Do the people at church mean something to you, or are you forming relationships only with coworkers? Are your coworkers Christians? If not, then you can have a wonderful impact on them, but make sure you are grounded in the church, so that you stay strong in the faith. You want to influence them, not the other way around. Proverbs 13:20 says: “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.”

Is Ryan a Christian? If not, then Kelly, you shouldn’t spend time alone with him. We are not to be “unequally yoked” (2 Cor. 6).

You’re probably thinking, “Oh, for Pete’s sake, Aunt June, I’m not marrying him!” But you are setting yourself up to fall in love with him if you are spending time alone with him.

Love, Aunt June

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Aunt June,

That sounds nice, but tell me: how am I supposed to find a Christian guy these days—somebody who actually wants a relationship? All the guys I meet want to party until they’re 35. I feel like I have to give in some or I’ll never meet anybody. It’s not like there’s some single guy at church; practically everybody is married with four kids! And if I don’t join my coworkers, I’ll end up sitting in the break room with a book and brown-bag lunch every day. I need some kind of a social life!

I don’t mean to insult you, but you’ve been married with kids for years, so I don’t think you know what it’s like to be single anymore.

Kelly

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Oh, Kelly,

Honey, you are right that it’s been a long time since I was single. Maybe I don’t know what it’s like. But Jesus does. Hear me on that. Your Savior, who died for you, knows what it is like to be single! He didn’t have a spouse. He didn’t even have a roof over his head!

The Bible tells us that Jesus, while on earth, suffered the same things we suffer: “Therefore he had to be made like his brothers in every respect, so that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in the service of God, to make propitiation for the sins of the people. For because he himself has suffered when tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted” (Heb. 2:17–18).

Jesus suffered your singleness! When you feel lonely, imagine how lonely he was. Even his closest friends didn’t understand him until he had left them and gone to heaven. You might say, “Well, he had the fellowship of the Father.” But he lost even that—gave it up willingly, for you—on the cross. There is no greater love than this. No earthly guy—no party boy from work—can ever love you enough to make it worth giving up Christ.

I am not making light of your circumstances. You are legitimately lonely. There is perhaps no more confusing time than young adulthood—trying to find your life partner, establish your career, and determine your place in this world. Please just remember that this world is not your home, and the Lord will not abandon you. Seek him.

Thank you for being honest with me, Kelly. Please write again and tell me how things are going. I love you.

Aunt June