Amid an emotionally unpredictable experience of dating, our hearts will naturally long for comfort. Where we find this comfort is a deeply theological matter.

Dating in 2026 is not for the faint-hearted. As in practically every aspect of our society, artificial intelligence is changing the dating landscape, too. Believe it or not, using AI dating tools to engage with someone online is a commonplace trend. But how is AI being used in dating today? What is chatfishing? And what should discerning Christians consider?

What Is Chatfishing?

Chatfishing is when someone carries on the initial online chatting phase of dating using the assistance of AI. Most people consider chatfishing to be deceptive and wrong. ‘Chatfishing someone’ can range significantly, from asking AI to help with clever replies all the way to carrying on entire conversations using AI to craft your responses, word for word.

If there is a lull in a text-based conversation, a user might ask, “Help me think of a clever question to ask to keep the conversation going,” or “What can I say to show that I’m a good listener?” Others will ask AI to analyze the profile of a love interest and develop conversation topics based on their likes and dislikes. This could involve making a joke based on someone’s favorite movie—a move sure to land well with them—but it’s a movie you’ve not actually seen.

Chatfishing is not a fringe practice. Nearly half of Gen Z singles have already used AI in their dating life, whether to build better profiles, craft stronger openers, or screen for compatibility. Use of AI among singles has jumped 333% from 2024 to 2025. Popular dating app Hinge launched prompt feedback assistance through AI last year, and now there are “wingman apps” specifically designed to help daters craft their profile and online persona to maximize their appeal on the dating market.

While any genuine Christian could affirm that lying to a potential date is wrong, how should we think about using AI to enhance communication in online dating? Let’s look at a few principles, and then I’ll offer some heart diagnostic questions.

AI Dating Tools for Editing and Enhancing Your Life

You can use AI to enhance the look and feel of your online profile on many modern dating platforms. From making sure to have at least one picture with a pet (though, for men, pictures with cats are shown to reduce their likeability!) to removing cliche phrases from your profile to help you stand out from the crowd, there’s a spectrum of enhancements to your profile and written correspondence which could result in deceiving others. This is the truest definition of being chatfished: meeting someone in person, after having carried on an online conversation for days, weeks, or months, only to discover that the in-person conversation is not as clever, empathetic, or exciting. To the victim, it feels like you’re talking to a different person. Enhancement slides into deception. But where is the line?

Principle 1: Transparency and Honesty Are Vital in Dating

For the Christian, dating is not just a fun activity (though you should have fun!). It’s a process of getting to know someone intentionally with an eye toward marriage. It can be tempting to avoid vulnerability and honesty in dating because inevitably, as you get to know someone, they will see your weakness and sin. They might reject you.

While you won’t find the word “chatbot” in your concordance, some relevant considerations in AI dating can be found in the term “defrauding.” Defrauding is when someone leads another to believe one thing, and then, by deception, takes something from them. In the Bible, the term is most often mentioned in the contexts of business and trade (e.g. Deut. 24:14–15), though it’s also mentioned in the context of relationships (1 Thess. 4:6).

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