What lies in the heart is truer than what lies on the surface (1 Samuel 16:7). Man focuses on the outward; God, the inward. When we’re committed to the truth, we’re committed to the inward. We humble ourselves to be shaped by God’s Word, and we open ourselves up to the possibility that God is at work in our lives and theirs.

Toxic relationships, by their very nature and name, cause harm. Someone who is “toxic” wreaks havoc in the relationship. The “toxic” individual may strike blows to the relationship in any number of ways. We’ve described the problem (in post 1). We’ve illustrated the problem (in post 2) by examining the attitudes and actions of some of the Corinthians towards the Apostle Paul. For the rest of this series (posts 3 through 8), we will consider the way forward. As we seek to be at peace as far as it depends on us, what specific attitudes and actions should characterize our approach? Paul shows us the way. He treats the disease of toxicity by applying heavy doses of many prescription pills. The first biblically prescribed pill is truth.

We aim to please God by suppressing our self-focus and by committing ourselves to what Christ calls us to. Jesus Christ, who is the Truth (John 14:6), calls us to speak the truth openly. The Apostle Paul learned from the Apostle Jesus Christ (Hebrews 3:1). From Paul’s second letter to the Corinthians, three features of truth-telling present themselves to us.

Speak the Truth Openly

Because our foundational commitment is to Christ, who was not ashamed to speak the truth openly, we do not shrink back from speaking the truth. Paul affirms this commitment, “But we have renounced disgraceful, underhanded ways. We refuse to practice cunning or to tamper with God’s word, but by the open statement of the truth we would commend ourselves to everyone’s conscience in the sight of God” (4:2). Our first commitment is to the truth of God’s Word. We please God by speaking the truth to others even when they don’t want to hear it or they stubbornly deny it. By the mercy of God, Paul is emboldened to renounce “disgraceful, underhanded ways” (v. 2). Literally, he’s saying that he has forbidden himself from using “hidden things of shame” (that is, shameful and secret things). Those are general descriptors on which he expounds as he continues. He contrasts the secret ways of the deceivers with his openness. He says that he is not walking in “cunning” (ESV reads “practice”). Rather than keeping the true message a secret, Paul puts before all people the “open statement of the gospel,” or literally, “the manifestation of the truth” (v. 2). Paul loves the truth. It was the Truth who set him free. This freeing message, therefore, must be out in the open. Everyone needs to hear it. The openness of the gospel light is what people need for their salvation. If it’s sufficient for their salvation, it’s good enough for their sanctification. We mustn’t hide that light under a bushel—no! It’s the truth that changes. It’s the truth that people need. So, it’s the truth that we must give them. If that hard (toxic?) relationship has any chance of restoration, the truth must be the dominant feature. We must be committed to speaking God’s Word and seeing how God will transform the relationship through his truth. We don’t turn to the toxic tactics and traits often used: gaslighting, manipulation, rejection of the truth. We turn to the inspired Word of God to speak into every aspect of our lives: our thoughts, words, and actions.

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