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Home/Biblical and Theological/Learning from the Perfect Father

Learning from the Perfect Father

We must teach our kids to see their hearts so that one day they will see their need of a great and beautiful Savior.

Written by Barbara R. Duguid | Saturday, October 18, 2025

We are not God, but when we become parents, we wield responsibility over tiny creatures who are vulnerable and weak, completely at our mercy. We must think very carefully how we will use that responsibility for the good of our cherished children. Using our God-given responsibility well involves asserting loving authority in age-appropriate ways early on.

 

It felt like the end of the world to me. I remember it vividly. Our perfect, adorable, and very mobile little firstborn was in need of discipline. I adored this baby boy more than I can describe. He was the joy of my life and the delight of my heart. This tiny sinner was looking his parents straight in the eye, not heeding our warnings and gentle attempts to correct him. A parental intervention was needed.

We had babyproofed our home, but we wondered how our son would learn to obey us if there were no rules or consequences. How would he understand the word “no” or the results of his choices? We wondered how, in the face of such lavish love and provision, he would come to know that we were also to be respected and trusted. I didn’t want my son to fear me; I wanted him only to adore me. But I knew that was selfish. Disciplining children is a biblical mandate, and it was kind to him.

Children who grow up without discipline and respect for authority have a hard road ahead of them, but we believed that training our son to respect us would lead to a cycle of grace. He would learn to honor God’s authority as well as that of teachers, police officers, elders, and many other authorities in this world. We hypothesized that teaching our child to respect properly constituted authority would set him up for success in a world full of people he would need to listen to, learn from, and appreciate.

In the midst of our children needing discipline, we have abundant opportunities to earn their trust and show them that we are their champions and greatest earthly advocates. We can love them faithfully and sacrificially, teaching them that we are trustworthy and guiding them in lessons of obedience. Our children should never have to wonder if we love them, if they are the most important part of our lives, or if we will always put their welfare before our own.

When babies are born, parents must become a powerful team, prioritizing the needs of their little ones over their own or those of one another. A baby’s needs must come first almost all the time because they are so helpless and are in a time of formation that is particularly critical for the development of small bodies, brains, souls, and personalities. The tiniest ones need their parents the most. Although our kids may one day accuse us of a lack of love when we make them go to bed or turn off the TV, our persistent loving care for them from birth will help them to understand that even the very hard things that we had to do to love them well were always for their good and never to hurt them.

 

God’s Perfect Nursery

God demonstrates a similar approach to parenting in the garden of Eden. He did not completely babyproof His lavish nursery. In the opening chapters of Genesis, we watch God making spectacular preparations for His first baby, the man He would make in His image (Gen. 1:26–28). We watch the ultimate Father sparing no effort and taking great pleasure in each plant, animal, and cloud He made for His precious image-bearer. We marvel at a powerful Creator who takes time to step back, admire His work, and find joy in what He has made. It was not merely good—it was awesome. At its center, God created a perfect garden for Adam and showed him the world of beauty He had made for him. God walked with him, explaining His heart and His world to His young son.

Suddenly, the tone darkens and something changes. The narrative is so subtle, we can almost miss it. Adam learns that he is free to enjoy everything in his new home. Yet there is one tree from which he may not eat (Gen. 2:16–17). God said, “But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die”(Gen. 2:17). Although there are many lessons we can learn from this narrative, let me suggest a few reasons why this was a very loving thing for God to do and some important insights this provides for us as we parent tiny sinners.

 

Lavish Love and Holy Fear

God’s creation was centered on Adam and what he would need to live in the world He had created. He surrounded Adam with His love and generosity, inviting him to know and enjoy his Father. God’s generosity and specificity is over-abundant, filling our senses, and Adam’s, with the glorious richness of color, taste, smell, warmth, and captivating beauty. The one thing that was initially “not good”—Adam being alone—was immediately addressed with the creation of woman, a “helper fit for him” (Gen. 2:20–24). Creation alone shouted to Adam that his Father loved him.

God was also present with Adam. This Father was always watching and frequently walking with His son, communicating with him, explaining all he needed to know, and teaching him how to look at the world through his Father’s eyes.

Raising precious image-bearers takes a great deal of time and effort. In the same way, surely the first thing that we want to communicate to our little ones is, “I am for you in all things,” and “I am good.”

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