When we won’t forgive fellow humans we are telling God that they have wronged us more than we have wronged God. In other words, we look like fools who have misunderstood the Gospel. Any offense we face in this life at the hands of fellow humans is nowhere near as significant as our offense against God. Any offense we might face in this life can’t compare to the treason and travesty that occurred when we killed our Creator on a human cross 2000 years ago. Malice, anger, gossip, slander against those we hold grudges against are symptoms of a much greater issue, one that may determine where we will spend eternity.

We are never more like Jesus than when we forgive, and we are never less like Jesus than when we hold grudges.

It is mind-boggling to think about Stephen’s final words as he was being martyred. Here he was being stoned, with people coming up while angrily gnashing their teeth and beating him in the head with huge rocks. As they hit his body and blood poured out of it, he looked them straight in the eyes and begged God to forgive them and to not count it against them. (Acts 7:60)

Stephen had the perfect model in Christ who, only weeks earlier, forgave those who killed Him. We too, like Stephen, should strive to model after Christ’s example in forgiving those around us who wrong us. In Matthew 18, Jesus taught about forgiveness, and I believe that He answers four questions on the topic that will help us in our efforts to model the Gospel to those around us.

How often should we forgive?

Then Peter came and said to Him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” 22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven. (Matthew 18:21-22).

The answer is simple. Every. Single. Time. In the Jewish custom, there was a mentality of record keeping. Most Pharisees, when taking Amos 1:3 out of context, said that we should forgive people up to three times for a specific offense, but on the fourth, you were to withhold forgiveness.

Other Jewish writers counseled people to forgive every offense except for legally enforceable business offenses, and get this, someone who has deliberately harmed me with the thought, “I can harm him because he will forgive me.” If someone sins against you knowing that you would have to forgive them, then you could withhold forgiveness.

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