Charles Spurgeon once stated, “Humility is to make a right estimation of one’s self.” When we remember all that God has forgiven us, including the countless acts of selfishness and rebellious behavior that we never even recognize we’ve done, it should bring us to our knees. As we look inwardly and consider the evil thoughts and actions our own fallen hearts have produced, both knowingly and unknowingly, we remember that without God’s mercy we would be without hope.

“Then Peter came up and said to him, ‘Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?’ Jesus said to him, ‘I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times’” (Matt. 18:21-22).

Most of us have gone through the experience of being hurt badly by someone. Maybe the person asked for our forgiveness or perhaps seemed to think they had done nothing wrong. As Christians we know God commands us to forgive as we have been forgiven, so we strive to obey God and forgive the person with a sincere heart.

When We Experience Pain Over Past Wrongs, We Need To Remember God’s Word

Yet, even when we’re confident that we have truly forgiven the person, it can happen that at some point the feelings come back suddenly and unexpectedly: feelings of rejection, pain, and anger, and the sense of being terribly wronged. What then? Did we not forgive well enough the first time? Do we need to forgive again (and maybe again and again) or perhaps somehow do a better job of forgiving?

I want to encourage you to have patience with yourself in the area of forgiveness. Because we have truly forgiven someone from the heart doesn’t mean all our memories are gone. Our act of forgiveness doesn’t mean all the pain goes away. This is particularly the case in very grievous wrongs committed against us and the people we love dearly, those in which the aftereffects plague us in one way or another for the rest of our lives. Instead of despairing over our struggles to forgive, we can take our struggles to God in our prayers.

It Is God’s Will for Christians To Forgive Others

In the passage above where Jesus says we should forgive others “seventy-seven times,” he is telling us that there should be no limits to our forgiveness. There is no sin that anyone can commit against us that is beyond our forgiveness. Jesus emphasized the critical importance of forgiveness after teaching his disciples to pray, stating:

“For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” (Matt. 6:14-15)

We Can Look to Jesus As Our Example When We Are Struggling To Forgive

But do we have to forgive others who haven’t asked for our forgiveness? While some Christians teach that this isn’t required of believers, it’s difficult to think of a good reason not to forgive others regardless of the level of repentance on their part.

On the cross Jesus asked his Father to forgive his persecutors because they didn’t know what they were doing (Luke 23:24). And what greater example do we have of what it means to be a Christian than the one our Lord has given us? If we are following in Jesus’ footsteps, we should want to forgive as he forgives.

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