Letting go doesn’t mean that everything the other person did was right. Sometimes, however, there’s a greater right than being right. The offender might not deserve our forgiveness, but, of course, neither did we deserve forgiveness.

This post addresses a problem that is common to all of us. It seems to be part of the fallen human condition, which means it’s in need of redemption and the sanctifying work of the Spirit. I am grateful for those who have instructed me on this subject [HT: Jim Wilson], as it has helped me with my own struggles to let go.

Holding on to an offense is one of the strongest pieces of evidence of a bitter heart, and it’s contrary to the Spirit of Christ. As a self-centered sinner, when someone has offended me (real or imagined), I want to nurse that offense and play the victim. I want to rehearse, over and over, often embellishing the offense with each retelling of the story to myself or others. Now I might (or might not) be a real victim of something, but the question is: what does God say I am to do when I have been offended, or even think I have been offended? Do we find any warrant in Scripture for wallowing or whining?

There are some folks who have become life-long victims with alleged concern for true justice and little concern for true grace. They have a keen memory for the details of old conversations and a catalog of old offenses they keep close by. Letting go of such things is thought to be a sign of weakness; when, according to Scripture, it is the very picture of strength and maturity. “The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger, and his glory is to overlook a transgression” (Pr. 19:11).

One of the key characteristics of maturity is selflessness—a willingness to sacrifice for the sake of others. Jesus is the prime example of such maturity: “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Rom. 5:8). Love and sacrifice go hand-in-hand.  “Love covers all sins” (Pr. 10:12); “And above all things have fervent love for one another, for ‘love will cover a multitude of sins’” (1 Peter 4:8).

Choosing not to be offended is not natural. It’s supernatural; it’s the work of the Spirit. When struck, I naturally want to strike back. Jesus says to “turn the other cheek” (Matt. 5:39). When insulted, I naturally have a few insults of my own that I want to hurl back. Peter writes:

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