Being absolutely dedicated to defending our own honor has a tendency to diminish it in the eyes of others. We do far better to fight for the honor of others and leave our own up to the Lord. Walking away from a fight, especially a fight that you could win, is the path to honor. This is the proper use of Proverbs 20:3
Within moments of perusing your social media feed you’ll be attuned to the outrage of the day. We live in a world of strife. And yet Proverbs 20:3 tells us:
It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife,
but every fool will be quarreling.
The word which is translated “keep aloof” is a word that either means to “sit” or “cease”. It either means don’t start the fight in the first place or if you’re in a quarrel walk away from the fight. To “keep aloof” is to stand still.
For those of us who hate confrontation, this is a phenomenal verse to misuse. If I’ve created strife in a relationship this is a good verse to hide behind so as not to deal with the issues which I’ve caused. And if the other person brings it up, I can clobber them with this passage.
It’s also a great verse to encourage passivity in the face of the suffering of others.