Almost any parent can switch into combat mode and wield the heavy hand of authority. But it takes grace from God to be a parent who sits down and converses with his or her child. Tell your teens why you are placing certain restrictions on their phone, talk to them about the various idols of their heart, and use this time as an opportunity to communicate the gospel.

The statistics have been published, the literature has widely circulated, the conversations continue, but the issue still doesn’t seem to be addressed with due vigilance. I’m talking about teenagers with unrestricted access on their smartphones and tablets. I give a hearty “Amen!” to Russell Moore’s recent tweet: “I am just stunned by parents who give their pre-teen children iPhones and iPads with unrestricted Internet access.”

Some of you might think I am being a bit extreme, but after wrapping up another summer of youth retreats, my eyes have been opened once again to this absolute foolishness (there’s no softer way to put it). The things our youth post on social media prove many things, and one is parental absence in this sphere.

I have too many conversations with students addicted to porn and equally as many conversations with parents who don’t have a clue what their children are doing on the Internet. Were it not for an all-powerful, reigning, and ruling God, I would worry even more about the effects of this negligence on the future of our culture, including the church. Therefore, here are six pieces of advice from a youth pastor who doesn’t pretend to have parenting figured out.

1. Repent

God has graciously given you children as amazing gifts. Before the foundation of the world, he chose you to be their parents. While salvation is from God, he still expects you to steward these children for his glory. Therefore, repent of your laziness in this area. If you don’t restrict smartphone usage, and you have little idea what your children are doing on their smartphones, I am speaking to you. Ask for forgiveness from the God who gave you children and ask for forgiveness from the child whose addiction you have aided.

2. Get Educated

The Internet is always changing, and it is impossible to stay on top of all the latest technology. Yet this is no reason to give up. You can still learn about your child’s most time-consuming technology. Take the phone you purchased for them and begin looking at the apps they have downloaded. Visit grovo.com for online tutorials of various sites/apps. Check out Walt Mueller’s site Center for Parent/Youth Understanding at least once a week to stay on top of youth cultural trends and concerns. As parents, you also need to start downloading the same apps and familiarize yourself with them. If you don’t have time to visit these various sites and don’t have the ability to interact with them, make a friend who does.

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