Since the first time I wrote about my journey and struggle, I have received hundreds of emails from men and women from all over the world asking essentially the same question: How? How do I practically live — as a follower of Jesus Christ — who experiences homosexual longings for intimacy? How do I deal with the nearly crippling loneliness and hopelessness I feel every day surrounding my sexuality?

When I began sharing my story, I had no idea how many people like me would come running for help. I am a married man, and a pastor, who experiences same-sex attraction.

Since the first time I wrote about my journey and struggle, I have received hundreds of emails from men and women from all over the world asking essentially the same question: How? How do I practically live — as a follower of Jesus Christ — who experiences homosexual longings for intimacy? How do I deal with the nearly crippling loneliness and hopelessness I feel every day surrounding my sexuality?

As I considered whether to say more, afraid of another wave of messages, my wife, seeing the fear on my face, looked over at me from across the living room, and in a beautiful moment of togetherness, we rehearsed a verse we had remembered for moments like these,

“I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.” (Acts 20:24)

So, if you are a Christian experiencing same-sex attractions, here are four truths I believe will help you fight well and flourish in your faith in Jesus.

1. The Earth Is Flat

When it comes to sexuality, everyone has fallen short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). Or you could say, none is truly “straight,” no not one (Romans 3:10). The Enemy loves to tell Christians who experience SSA that they are uniquely depraved. That God, being cruel, has placed you in a sin struggle that is more difficult than those around you.

As hard as your predicament may seem, you must know that Christ is not calling you to give up or sacrifice any more than anyone else. Sam Allberry reminds us,

Ever since I have been open about my own experiences with homosexuality, a number of Christians have said something like this: “The gospel must be harder for you than it is for me,” as though I have more to give up than they do. But the fact is that the gospel demands everything out of all of us. If someone thinks the gospel has somehow slotted into their life quite easily, without causing any major adjustments to their lifestyle or aspirations, it is likely that they have not really started following Jesus at all. (Is God Anti-Gay?, 10)

As a pastor, I have a front-row view into the sexual brokenness of everyone. Daily, I am reminded that loneliness is not solved by marriage, intimacy is not fulfilled by intercourse, and desire is not satisfied in the arms of another.

Whether gay or straight, married or unmarried, single or dating, everyone lives in some state of sexual and emotional dissatisfaction and unfulfillment. We all are sexually broken. When it comes to sexuality, the earth is flat.

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