You would be shocked at how often single women push for their married friends to get divorced. “You haven’t seemed yourself in so long, we are just worried about you,” they often say. “We just want you to be happy. You deserve so much more.”

It is probably not the best to begin this post by claiming that I have no data upon which to base the subject of my writing. With only my own observations of society and personal relationships, I am seeing more married couples separating and divorcing. Especially for adults in their mid-30s to mid-40s, it seems to have become a trend. Often times, it seems the women are the ones uninterested in remaining married (I’ll get to the men later). Besides the obvious sins of selfishness and pride, which are often the root sins causing a marriage crisis, there are other patterns I’ve observed among women who are unsatisfied in marriage.

1. Extended adolescence continues to extend even further.

With late night outings and the ever more trendy “girls’ nights,” it has become increasingly tempting to see home as the place of no fun. I am all for girls’ night and even believe it is healthy, however when a woman consistently wants to be out with friends more than with her husband or at home with her family, do not be surprised when marriage problems occur out of nowhere. Often this happens with no previous warning signs to the husband that something is wrong.

Another example of adolescence extending even beyond our twenties is how the act of “settling down” has become tainted by the new greatest fear in our society–aging. The truth is we are supposed to age. Not just naturally, which is stating the obvious, but spiritually. We were made to grow up. We were made to become husbands, wives, parents, and grandparents, and that is not simply a natural progression, but God’s plan for the human race. While there is nothing wrong with coloring one’s hair, there are issues with coloring one’s mind. The race God has prepared for us is one that progresses through age, life phase, and varying levels of responsibility.

2. An increase of single and recently divorced friends.

The perceived symbol of freedom is standing right next to you, at the bar, on girls night. Your single best friend doesn’t have the kids tonight because they are either at her ex-husband’s house or at the grandparents. Of course you love your children with all your heart, but you have to leave a little earlier than everyone else because you still haven’t packed lunches for school tomorrow, and know your three year old is going to come in at 6:00am and ask to watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse on TV. All the men around you are paying attention to your group while you are out together, and you can’t really flirt or participate because well, you’re married. Your single friends have regular conversations about how they’ve never felt more free and happy than they are since the divorce. The man bashing ensues and the glaring flaws of your husband pop into your mind. Then the inevitable conclusion is made:

The grass is greener on the other side.

You would be shocked at how often single women push for their married friends to get divorced. “You haven’t seemed yourself in so long, we are just worried about you,” they often say. “We just want you to be happy. You deserve so much more.”

Show me someone considering divorce when there are no glaring issues such as adultery, and I will with certainty show you someone who hangs out with a majority of divorced or single friends. By all means, ladies, keep friendships with people in all kinds of life phases, but having friendships with women who love their husbands and embrace the full responsibility of parenthood is essential for your own healthy marriage. If you are involved in conversations where spouse bashing begins, change the subject or leave. Why? Because your spouse has faults and you are well aware of them. The longer spouse bashing takes place, the more your mind will start swirling and those thoughts will take you to the mythical greener grass.

[Editor’s note: This article is incomplete. The source for this document was originally published on deaninserra.com – however, the original URL is no longer available.]