What principles should govern the way pastors communicate with their sessions about potential changes, thus avoiding unnecessary secrecy or eroding confidence that a man is committed to his call?

I was asked to speak recently at our presbytery meeting on the subject, Leaving a Call Well.

Are you wondering why such a thing should be necessary? Probably not. Sadly, far too often church staff and leadership suffer heartburn and strained relationships when the time comes for a parting of the ways. When leaving is not accomplished with the grace, integrity and charity demanded of us in the gospel, the vibrations are invariably felt throughout the congregation, as the saints suffer under the weight of often tense, confusing situations. This article strives to show that it doesn’t have to be that way.

But first, the assumption: should pastors leave their calls well? Of course. The manner in which we leave speaks volumes about the way we believe the grace of the gospel permeates our relationships. Especially in the difficult situations- someone is fired, a pastor is disgruntled with his session, an associate feels unappreciated, staff are underpaid- the gentleness and humility of Christ needs to shine brilliantly.

What is the most significant factor in leaving a call well? The answer seemed fairly obvious to me: leave a call you maintained well. Perhaps it’s like my basketball coach used to say, “you play in the game like you practice.” If pastors “practiced” good relationships during their call, why wouldn’t they do so upon leaving to “play” elsewhere?

How to maintain a call well

1. Pray for your leaders

As a pastor I believe I have a responsibility (and privilege!) to be a pace-setter in prayer, especially for our church officers. Mine are prayed for by name almost daily. This develops affection, appreciation, and loyalty. We pray in the pattern of the great Episcopos of our faith, Jesus Christ, who ever lives to make intercession for his people.

2. Conduct an annual review

Pastors and staff need to know where they stand with those who hire them. This allows opportunity to adjust performance and expectations, and to clarify one’s sense of call. I told my elders at a recent evaluation, “Please tell me what you want me doing differently. I want you completely satisfied with my work a year from now.”

The last thing church leadership needs is surprises. For example, a pastor walks into a session meeting and a ruling elder says, “you’re fired.” Nothing of the sort should come out of the blue. It is just common sense and courtesy that employees know where they stand. Of course it cuts both ways. If a pastor suddenly resigns, without giving any sense of notice, that leaves the ruling elders asking, “Why didn’t you tell us you weren’t happy?” Such non-communication betrays the gospel. Likewise, a pastor who is released should not have to ask, “Why didn’t you allow me to change what disappointed you?”

Surprises like this can be avoided if annual reviews are conducted. At my church we ask each staff member (and officer) to evaluate himself. That then forms the basis of the annual review, although that does not preclude any other issue from being addressed that either party desires to pursue. I developed the following for our staff and officers:

Personal Evaluation for Staff/Officers – Redeemer Presbyterian Church

1. Please explain where you are spiritually right now as you reflect generally on the year past.
2. Where is your greatest sense of accomplishment in the past year?
3. Where is your greatest sense of inadequacy in the last year?
4. What are your major responsibilities going into the new year?
5. Are there aspects of your calling that you’d like to change?
6. What resources do you need to better accomplish your calling?
7. Do you have a clear sense of the mission of the church and are you committed to it?
8. To what degree are you seeking to be a pace-setter in the stewardship of your life (finances, witness, purity, prayer, family, etc.)?
9. Are your personal financial needs being met?

3. Balance freedom and transparency

As long as churches need pastors, there will be situations where a man is sought out by another church, or needs to change the venue of his calling. I have done that twice, the first time leaving a healthy large church as an associate pastor to go plant a church, and the second time leaving a healthy medium-sized church as senior pastor to attempt another church plant. I have also been contacted over the years by churches seeking pastors. It happens all the time, and it has to.

What principles should govern the way pastors communicate with their sessions about potential changes, thus avoiding unnecessary secrecy or eroding confidence that a man is committed to his call?

Principle 1:

Sessions need to have vital interest in their pastor’s sense of calling. They are in as good a place as anyone to help a man think through how and why his sense of calling may be shifting. If he is prone to settle (grow weary, complacent, not be stretched) in a bad way, they can help push him. If he is prone to be antsy and easily distracted, they can help him grow in contentment. They don’t own their pastor, Jesus does, and he can do with him what he desires. Therefore, ruling elders should know the answer to the questions, “Pastor, are you bored? Are you being sufficiently challenged?” They should know him well enough to understand what “gets in his wheelhouse” so they can facilitate the maximum use of his gifts for the kingdom. That may mean releasing a man they adore, or keeping one who is not ready for something different. The elders, moreover, should have a discerning read on whether or not the congregation is ready for a change.

Likewise, a pastor ought to have the sense among his ruling elders that “we partaking in this ministry together.” It is not the pastor’s church. The head of the church is Jesus. He rules it by a plurality of congregationally-elected elders.

Principle 2:

Pastors and sessions should have an agreement for when he talks about opportunities that come his way. Two things ought to be balanced. On the one hand, pastors should have freedom to respond confidentially when contacted by another church. On the other hand, pastors should bring their sessions in on their thinking as soon as they believe there is some serious possibility of leaving. Do not wait until you have accepted another call, springing it on them. That produces a seedbed of resentment and distrust. Shouldn’t they be involved in the decision making process to some extent? I remember discussing with my session a potential call in another state and the men observing, “Mike, look how animated you get describing the opportunity. It obviously suits you.” That was actually very affirming and helpful feedback for me. I needed to trust they had the kingdom’s best interest in mind.

Leaving a call well

There are essentially two categories of folks who leave a call: those who are asked to leave, and those who leave voluntarily (with or without heartburn). While it is impossible to delineate the various scenarios in which men leave their calls, the following are overarching principles to establish the gospel-governed departures:

1. Don’t disparage the other to the congregation in private or public.
This is often tempting when we feel the need to vindicate ourselves, or to quell rumors when they start flying.

2. Trust the courts of the church:
– If they say it is not the right time to leave, stay.
– If they say it is time to dissolve the call, so do.

Congregations have the right to be served well by these courts and will lose confidence in them if one party acts contrary to decisions made by the majority.

3. Be diligent to preserve peace and purity of church in the way you leave

– Always pursue the peace of church (Heb 12:14, Rom 12:18 and Matt 5:23-24). Make every effort to go to anyone with whom you not at peace or you suspect is not at peace with you.

– Always pursue the purity of church. Issues of unrighteousness may need to be addressed concerning the way a pastor leaves or the cause of his leaving. This should be handled according to the Matt 18 guidelines in addressing sin.

If the reasons for leaving your call will be explained to the congregation by anyone else but you, ask for permission to participate in what’s going to be spoken and/or written. Be sure to have the person leaving “sign off” on what’s being said and/or written about their departure. You want to preclude private conversations such as: “Here’s the real reason why I’m leaving.” These are fertile soil for dissension and gossip in the church, as well as roots of bitterness to choke out relationships.

It is easy to forget about those who have been asked to leave. Here are the words of one man I now who was asked to leave a call and felt rather abandoned once the process ended:

Be as generous and gracious as possible – monetarily and verbally. Care for those without call who remain in your backyard. Walk with them in their journey. Don’t abandon them: Call them, pray with them, have coffee with them, take he and his wife out to dinner…OFTEN. Pursue, pursue!

(Special thanks to my friend Tom Darnell for sharing his thoughts on this subject with me.)

Mike Sharrett is the Lead Pastor at Redeemer Presbyterian Church in Lynchburg, Virginia. He is the author of Watching Over The Heart and Watching The Path Of Your Feet. This article is based on a verbal presentation he recently made at a meeting of the Presbytery of the Blue Ridge.
@2012 Michael Sharrett