We Christians sometimes even spiritualize our heartlessness with an appeal to depravity. “We’re all sinners getting better than we deserve. A little realism is probably good for people.” But there is nothing more real than God. God makes the sun shine and the rain fall on the just and the unjust alike. His kindness is simply unrelated to what we do or do not deserve.

There are times that people reject kindness because they know that they are unworthy of receiving kindness themselves. It would be wasted on them and so they reject kindness as a category.

There was a coffee shop a few miles from where I grew up that had terrible customer service. You could go in and be sneered at, ignored, and generally treated as a nuisance.

Once I asked for a toasted bagel and the employee said, “You can have a bagel, but not toasted.” I asked why, thinking that something must be wrong with their toaster.

He said, “It takes a long time. I don’t want to deal with it right now.”

There was no one in the cafe, no one else even in line. He looked at me acted like refusing to toast my bagel was a completely normal and rational thing for someone in his situation. Yet there was generally a long line of regulars gathered to buy coffee from a rude barista. The guilty feel a bit better when someone slings a bit of incivility their way. Especially first thing in the morning.

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