“Heaven Is For Real: A Book About Heaven From The Perspective Of A Four Year Old Who Had A Near Death Experience And For Some Reason We Believe Him More Than The Bible”

What would happen if Christian publishers were actually honest with their book titles? You’d probably end up with books like this.

Don’t Waste Your Life: A Millennial’s Guide To Making Semi-Rash Decisions Out Of A Wartime Mentality

I Kissed Dating Goodbye: How To Not Talk To Girls Until You’re 25 Years Old

Heaven Is For Real: A Book About Heaven From The Perspective Of A Four Year Old Who Had A Near Death Experience And For Some Reason We Believe Him More Than The Bible

Strange Fire: John MacArthur’s Lifelong Rivalry With Benny Hinn

Blue Like Jazz: It’s A Journey, An Authentic Journey, and I Want To Invite You Into My Story

A Year Of Biblical Womanhood: One Woman’s Valiant Attempt To Create Straw-Man Arguments and Massively Misinterpret A Lot Of The Bible, All the While Saying, “You Go Girl!”

Radical: All You Rich, Fat, Lazy Christians Need To Stop Eating At McDonald’s And Become Missionaries To Africa

The Shack: Oprah Is Gonna Love This

Love Wins: Rob Bell Yet Again Discovers Something New About God That Thousands Of Faithful Christians Before Him Have Totally Missed

The Zimzum of Love: No We’re Serious Here. This Isn’t A Joke.

What He Must Be: You Wanna Date My Daughter? You Have To Ask Yourself One Question: Do You Feel Lucky? Well Punk, Do Ya?

Love and Respect: Building A Marriage On False Dichotomies

Real Marriage: Skip the Good Stuff For The Chapter On Sex

The Lord of the Rings: The Christian-Approved Version of Harry Potter

Left Behind: Scare Enough Christians To Get Really Rich

Circle Maker: No, I’m Not A Pre-School Coloring Book

Religious Affections: This Book Will Look Great On Your Coffee Table

The Pastor’s Kid: Just As Messed Up As You Thought

The Reason for God: Because Tim Keller Is Smarter Than Your Atheist Friends

Household Gods: Because My Book About Christians Smoking Didn’t Make You Angry Enough

This article first appeared on Stephen Altrogge’s website, The Blazing Center, and is used with his permission.