Handling disagreements in the church goes beyond just managing conflict; it’s about truly reflecting Christ’s love and wisdom. When we approach disagreements with grace, humility, and a dedication to unity, we not only build up our church family but also become a strong testimony of God’s reconciling peace to the world.

Introduction

Rodney King offered a plea on the second day of the 1992 L.A. Riots. The plea seared an indelible mark on the minds of a generation—a plea oft repeated in times of rising exasperation over the conflicts we face every day in the fallen world: “Can’t we all just get along?” The simplicity of his question resonated deeply, highlighting our ongoing struggle with conflict and disagreement (James 1:19-20).

Thirty-two years later, we still don’t have a good answer. No, it seems we can’t get along. No one. Nowhere. Not in the Church and not out in the wider society. Conflict and disagreement remain hallmarks of humanity, just as they were in the beginning, at the Fall of Adam and Eve. However, as the people of the Prince of Peace, we know the possibilities and principles of agreement. We believe, “Yes, we can get along,” and through God’s massive, heavenly grace, we can handle disagreements of all kinds. But we need help (Phil. 2:2).

Have you ever found yourself avoiding a difficult conversation or disagreement at church? This second post in our mini-series focuses on handling disagreements in the Church, particularly within our local churches. The better we understand the art of navigating disagreements, the more effectively we can address conflict in our churches (Col. 3:13). And as unity grows among Christians, so does our effectiveness in bringing the good news of Christ to those who need it most.

Handling: Embrace the Art of Navigating Disagreements

Are you typically agreeable or disagreeable? Do you enjoy conflict, or does it make you uneasy? These questions remind us of the serious challenge of navigating disagreements, especially in a church filled with diverse personalities. We need a proactive approach to handling disagreements (1 Pet. 3:8).

Recent global pandemics have taught us that waiting for trouble only exacerbates it. Similarly, if we take a reactive approach to disagreements in the Church, we’re asking for trouble. Most of us handle conflict like driving in rush-hour traffic—reactively and hands-off. We merge without foresight, change lanes on a dime, steer with our knees, and then wonder why the commute is fraught with danger and anxiety. Instead, we need a forward-thinking, careful approach to disagreements (John 13:34-35). We need our hands on the wheel and our spiritual eyes cast down the road to anticipate conflicts.

In addition to proactive awareness, we need warm-hearted sensitivity in our churches. Emotions run high when feathers are ruffled or when leadership decisions don’t meet the expectations of the flock. In these moments, a calm, sensitive, non-anxious presence is invaluable. Every disagreement carries nuances that must be navigated with the warmth and calm of our Good Shepherd. Whether like a gardener pruning a delicate succulent, a sailor navigating choppy waters, or a conductor guiding an orchestra through a complex symphony, we need sensitivity and awareness when disagreements arise. The entire flock, under faithful shepherds, is called to exercise mature care and concern to bring lasting resolutions (Heb. 12:14).

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