When my ex-husband walked out on our marriage, I was devastated. I had already been rejected long before this final step, so I was desperate to feel loved. Therefore, I conjured up an idea of “God” to  provide feelings to fill that  emptiness. In my mind’s eye, I pictured myself as a child approaching “God” who was sitting on his throne in heaven. He would take me in his arms and tell me that he loved me and that I was going to be okay. I also imagined leaning against “Jesus'” shoulder while he put his arm around me and told me he loved me and I was going to be okay.

 
“May not our own fancies be the rule of our worship? No.”
A Scriptural Exposition of the Baptist Catechism, Benjamin Beddome

“When false images of God dictate our worship, 
we are undoubtedly worshiping a false God. “
Pastor Ryan Davidson

When I read the above question and answer in the Baptist Catechism, my first reaction was to laugh. It’s not that the 2nd commandment is a laughing matter, and I mean no disrespect. But the stark and very obvious answer puts worshipping God according to my personal preference in its place. No excuses. No ifs, ands, or buts. Who do I think I am? I don’t get to decide how God should be worshipped. That is God’s prerogative alone. Period. But then in Sunday’s sermon on the 2nd commandment, Pastor Ryan stated that worshipping God based on false images, whether physical or mental, is worshipping a false God. Thus the conviction boom was lowered even further.

After the sermon, I couldn’t help but cringe at the times when I worshipped God according to my own fancy. When my ex-husband walked out on our marriage, I was devastated. I had already been rejected long before this final step, so I was desperate to feel loved. Therefore, I conjured up an idea of “God” to  provide feelings to fill that  emptiness. In my mind’s eye, I pictured myself as a child approaching “God” who was sitting on his throne in heaven. He would take me in his arms and tell me that he loved me and that I was going to be okay. I also imagined leaning against “Jesus'” shoulder while he put his arm around me and told me he loved me and I was going to be okay. Of course, this was aided and abetted by the appropriate contemporary Christian musical accompaniment.

You might think this is a relatively harmless and normal reaction to my circumstances, but I had fashioned a false God.  Even though I knew enough to not imagine a face, I still pictured the lower half of a robed human figure sitting on a throne. God is not a man. He is spirit. He is “without body, parts or passions” according to the 1689 London Baptist Confession. And while Jesus is man, He is my Savior and my God, not my boyfriend. The Bible does use the metaphor of Bridegroom and Bride, but it is just that – metaphor. In John 15, Jesus is the vine, and we are the branches. Does that mean we become grape plants when we get to heaven? Obviously not. Also the Bride is the church corporate, which is comprised of all believers (women and men) throughout time. Jesus is not a polygamist, and the idea of romantic let alone conjugal relations with Deity strikes me as more pagan or Mormon than Christian. My relationship to the 2nd Person of the Trinity is not dictated by 21st century ideas of love and romance, which is eisegetical at best and blasphemous at worst. My relationship with the Triune God is dictated by the Word alone. My imaginations were also highly disrespectful of the Holy Spirit and the Scriptures. Was the indwelling of the 3rd person of the Godhead, the Comforter who would lead me into all truth, insufficient? Were the promises of God untrustworthy and void of power to sustain me such that I needed to imagine things about God that were untrue?

I am convicted, but I am not condemned, thank God. Jesus died for lawbreakers like me, the just for the unjust, as Pastor Ryan reminded us at the end of his sermon. But this does not give me license to think of God according to my fancy. If I did that with another person, I would be considered delusional. So why would I do that about God? If I truly want to love and honor God in a worthy manner, it begins with thinking God’s own thoughts after Him, not my own.

Persis Lorenti is an ordinary Christian. You can find her at Tried With Fire and Out of the Ordinary. This article appeared at her blog and is used with permission.