Do not assume you know who is and who is not a sexual offender. Most people falsely think that they would be able to identity a predator—he or she would be a “monster.” Maybe he is a single man? Someone who is disheveled? Maybe he has some kind of evident mental illness or addiction or insanity? He probably is uneducated or some kind of pervert? If you think this way, then predators already have you fooled.
Karen was an innocent teenager in a hallway of a local megachurch heading home after a youth event. Sam, a building manager, pulled her into an empty classroom and forced her to have sex. No one else was around, and she didn’t know what to do, so she just gave in to Sam’s demands. He threatened her so that she wouldn’t tell anyone, but it was hard to hide because she cried the whole rest of the day. Sam had a rap sheet. He had been hired because he had friends who worked for the church, and no one had bothered to check into his past.
Are you surprised? You shouldn’t be. Some churches don’t take the time to check on an employee’s past, like running a criminal background check. But this is the kind of thing that gets churches in trouble and puts them under much greater risk of liability.
The first step in protecting our children is figuring out who is plotting evil against them.
Power Predators and Persuasion Predators
Author and risk-assessment expert Gavin de Becker identifies two types of sexual predators—the power predator and thepersuasion predator. Both wreak great havoc in the lives of their victims. Both are problematic for police, parents, and the societies in which they live, and they have very different ways of accomplishing their evil ends.
The power predator takes a child by sheer force. He overtakes his victim by overpowering her and forcing her into captivity. You can think in terms of a child grabbed in a park or a schoolyard, dragged into a car and driven off without the strength or ability to stop the sexual offender.
According to de Becker, “The power predator charges like a bear, unmistakably committing to his attack. Because of this, he cannot easily retreat and say there was merely a misunderstanding. Accordingly, he strikes only when he feels certain he’ll prevail.”
The persuasion predator uses his personality, charm, and influence to convince others that he is trustworthy, and then at the opportune time strikes to abuse children. You might think about the illustration of a wolf in sheep’s clothing: The wolf intends to harm others but doesn’t want them to discover his plans and so puts on the appearance of an innocent sheep.
If you have a good structural set-up in your children’s ministry wing (check-in desk, half-doors on classrooms, hall monitors, and so on) and some type of security check-in system, that does a lot to keep the power predator at bay. But in such cases the persuasion predator is far more likely to infiltrate your church setting.
Myth of Stranger Danger
One of the most common myths about sexual offenders is that they will be strangers who take away your child. Power predators do exist. They scope out playgrounds or other places with kids to abduct children and steal their lives.
But in church and family settings, our problem is much less often with a stranger than with those whose lives regularly intersect with ours: fellow church attenders, childcare workers in the nursery, family members, and neighbors—the people we know, not the people we don’t know.
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