First, do your friends, co-workers, and other Christians have any truth in what they are saying? If so, identify what it is. Also, if there is no truth, identify that as well. Second, how was this message communicated? Was it expressed in love (or in the work-place without malice)?

“You hurt my feelings.” This is a common phrase that even very young children learn and use to much effect (garnering sympathy or getting something they want). There are a couple things, however, about this phrase that should be noted.

First, feelings cannot be hurt; only people can be hurt. Second, this statement implies a wrong has been done, but no actual sin has been presented. It is just a subjective statement of how a person feels. Rather than buy into these nebulous and unhelpful words, there is a better way of looking at feelings that not only reflects objective reality but also allows for personal responsibility.

We need to be connected to our emotions and feelings.

First, feelings are important. The Bible frequently expresses emotions and feelings. Take Psalm 35:9, “Then my soul will rejoice in the LORD, exulting in his salvation,” or Joel 2:23:

Be glad, O children of Zion, and rejoice in the LORD your God, for he has given the early rain for your vindication; he has poured down for you abundant rain, the early and the latter rain, as before.

Clearly, rejoicing, exulting, and being glad are emotions Scripture calls us to experience in relation to God, and some emotions, such as rejoicing, are also directed towards other people (see Prov. 5:18). In addition to the above emotions, we are also called to mourn and grieve over sin. None of these actions can properly take place if we are disconnected from our emotions and feelings.

Rather than looking to our feelings to guide whether something is good or bad, we ought to see our feelings as indicators of whether or not our hearts are aligned with God’s Word and plan for our lives, and to pinpoint potential problems in ourselves or others as we interact with people.

We can use our feelings as gauges of how we are responding to God’s providence.

Every day there are situations that affect us. An accident on our route to work makes us late. We forget the food in the oven and burn dinner. We prepare a great dinner only to have our spouse get stuck at work and come home too late to enjoy our hard labors. A wonderful vacation gets cancelled because of sickness. Our car is stolen after an otherwise pleasant day of sightseeing. A friend says something to us that is true but is hard to hear. Or someone says something that is false about us. The list is endless. And each situation stirs up within us emotions and feelings.

In these situations, we can use our feelings as gauges of how we are responding to God’s providence. This is probably easier to see in situations where sin is not involved. Take, for example, an accident on route to work.

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