In Scripture, we notice that the poor and suffering are close to God’s heart. So the Proverbs 31 woman does this: “She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out hands to the needy” (v. 20). Her concerns are wider than her own family. There’s still a calling here for us. Jesus said that the poor will always be with us, in our churches and in our communities.

These words seem to set an impossible standard for Christian women. Yet in a time of confusion over what it means to be a true and beautiful woman, God’s Word speaks to us clearly and directly. 

This chapter paints a portrait of someone thriving in her relationships.

1) Supporting Her Husband

Obviously, this is a word for those who are married… The woman of Proverbs 31 brings blessing to her husband: “The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain” (v. 11). When a wife is a woman of God, her husband can trust her judgment and be greatly helped by her.

One such benefit is seen in verse 23, “Her husband is known in the gates, where he sits among the elders of the land.” Before we criticize him for sitting around all day, remember that gates were places for judgment; this is where Israel’s elders would rule on important matters for God’s people. Her husband sits there because of his wisdom, his fear of God. But he’s also there because he’s supported by his wife. He’s able to carry out his calling because he knows that she’s managing well at home.

That’s not something insignificant, either. Every husband can tell you that if things are unsettled at home, if home is no haven, then it’s hard to carry on the daily work without divided focus. To put that more positively, every husband needs the encouragement that his wife can provide. He needs her wise counsel. He needs her womanly perspective. He needs her to be busy in prayer for him. 

And isn’t that what God always intended a wife to do? 

To be a helper for her husband (Gen 2:18), someone to assist him in every good thing. So the husband praises her in verse 29, “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.” This is something for  every husband to do, to acknowledge how good it is to have found a wife of noble character: to say it to her, and to thank God for her!

2)Instructing Her Children

The kids show up here and there in Proverbs 31. The best glimpse is verse 28. It’s powerful: “Her children rise up and call her blessed.” Children don’t always appreciate it when they’re growing up, but with time they often come to cherish their mother. For her impact endures. Certainly the food and clothing have something to do with it. But more than that, these children praise her because they’ve received her good guidance and counsel. Like in verse 26, “She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.”

Mothers (and fathers) want to impart any number of good lessons to their children. To give a sense of responsibility and independence, to foster qualities like being polite and punctual, to encourage hard work and compassion. But then we remember to keep “God’s wisdom” at the top, or better, at the centre. 

Teaching who God is, and how great he is. Teaching who Christ is, and what he did for sinners like us. Teaching how to pray, how to read the Word, how to worship the LORD, and how to love your neighbour.

As they grow, children need so much guidance: how to live godly lives, as they seek entertainment, as they choose a spouse and find a career, as they spend money and as they serve in church. 

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