We are responsible for how we minister to others, but not how they respond. People will sin, even when you warn them not to. Some will fall away despite your pleading. Some might betray you, despite of your love for them.

Pitfalls to Avoid

As you get going in discipleship and doing spiritual good to others, consider a couple of pitfalls you should avoid. The following list isn’t exhaustive, but hopefully it will help you approach the discipling task with wisdom.

1.Don’t Be Possessive

Well-meaning people can be tempted to approach discipling with an unhealthy possessiveness. I’ve been in ministry circles where people call those they invest in “my disciples.” They become strangely jealous when others give advice to “their disciples.” Let’s not get things twisted: they are not your disciples. They are Jesus’s disciples. He bought them with his blood. He calls you to help them follow him—and to invite others to do the same.

Discipling is designed as partnership with God and other believers. Paul reminded the Corinthians, “I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth” (1 Cor. 3:6–7). No one person is sufficient to completely disciple another person. We best serve others by pointing them to other faithful Christians who can help them as well. Don’t make disciples codependent on you and don’t be codependent on them. All discipling should foster dependence on Jesus.

2.Don’t Circumvent the Local Church

As a young believer, I took part in several parachurch ministries. I was blessed by them, but they often undervalued the local church. Their emphasis on the universal church shortcircuited God’s plan to shape and mature believers in local churches. Worship meetings, service opportunities, and community fellowship was typically segregated from the church.

The normative New Testament pattern for spiritual growth is in the committed membership of a local church under the oversight of godly elders. In that context, disciples are built up by people from all walks and stages of life. Parachurch ministries, though helpful, lack the biblical authority and design to help believers grow best. In your zeal to disciple others, make sure that you point them toward the local church, not away from it.

3.Don’t Fear People

Proverbs 29:25 warns us,

The fear of man lays a snare,

but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe.

Fear of man is dangerous in every arena of life, including discipling. If you fear people, you will not love them well. Fear can hinder you from sharing your struggles or weaknesses because you want to impress them. Fear might keep you from asking penetrating questions or calling out sin.

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