Most people find that starting a spiritual conversation is a bit awkward. Using a well-placed question, though, is a safe way for more timid types—and aggressive types, too—to get off the bench and into active conversation. It helps you ease into the game, so to speak, in a genial, non-threatening way, especially when your question shows a personal interest in the other person.

Talking with others about controversial, volatile topics like the gospel is scary. I get it. It scares me, too. In spiritual conversations, landmines abound. It’s understandable that some are skittish. I’ve found a good way to minimize the risk, though, and increase my courage. I use questions. Questions keep me safe.

I want to give you four ways questions can increase your margin of safety, too, while still providing a great opportunity for you to make a difference.

First, questions get you going. Most people find that starting a spiritual conversation is a bit awkward. Using a well-placed question, though, is a safe way for more timid types—and aggressive types, too—to get off the bench and into active conversation. It helps you ease into the game, so to speak, in a genial, non-threatening way, especially when your question shows a personal interest in the other person.

I had a fun conversation once with a witch in Wisconsin simply by asking about her necklace—a five-pointed star called a pentagram often associated with the occult. “Does that jewelry have spiritual significance?” was all I said. Yes, it did. She was “a pagan,” and happy to talk about the particulars. More questions followed as I probed for detail on her views. I was relaxed and so was she. It was painless.

There’s a reason questions make the initial stages of a conversation so much easier. Once you ask, it’s the other person’s turn to answer. Your job is done for the moment. All you need to do is listen. It’s simple. Once you’re rolling, the conversation almost always gets easier as opportunities for more questions present themselves.

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