People who remain connected with their brothers and sisters in the local church almost invariably grow in self understanding, and they mature in their ability to relate in healthy ways to God and to their fellow human beings. This is especially the case for those courageous Christians who stick it out through the often messy process of interpersonal discord and conflict resolution. Long-term interpersonal relationships are the crucible of genuine progress in the Christian life. People who stay grow.

The Hope of Spiritual Community

We are relational beings, designed in the image of our triune God. We’ve been created for life together, and apart from community, we’ll never be fully whole and Christlike. In the church, we can resist the trends of social isolation and loneliness, discover our true home in Christ and his church, and find hope for a beautiful, deeply rooted community. We can finally belong.

So the question is this: How do we embody and practice this incredible truth—that we belong to God and one another? In considering how to cultivate deeper belonging together, I want to give practical help for the committed church member and leader.

1. Practice hospitality.

Hospitality is the distinctively Christian practice of creating space for others. It is not just opening our homes; it’s the Christlike pattern of opening our hearts and lives as well. Hospitality, in a biblical sense, includes creating space in our homes for our brothers and sisters in Christ, creating space in our schedules and hearts for those who don’t know the Lord, creating space in our community groups for our neighbors and coworkers, and creating space in our lives for the poor and marginalized.

Just as Christ came to us when we were outsiders, so the church can open its heart and doors to those who don’t know him. In Paul’s instructions for the church to embrace self-giving love for each other, he includes a strong exhortation to “show hospitality” (Rom. 12:13). And while Paul’s exhortation is aimed at hospitality within the church, hospitality is also a missional practice in a lonely world. As one Christian author put it:

In our world full of strangers, estranged from their own past, culture and country, from their neighbors, friends and family, from their deepest self and their God, we witness a painful search for a hospitable place where life can be lived without fear and where community can be found. . . . That is our vocation [as Christians]: to convert the . . . enemy into the guest and to create the free and fearless space where brotherhood and sisterhood can be formed and fully experienced.1

Let’s pause now and consider our own stories. At one point, we were all visitors to a church and didn’t know more than a person or two. How might our lives be different at this point if no one had invited us in and given us a place at the table?

Every one of us has been the recipient of the hospitality of others, and now we extend that same hospitable spirit to the next generation of church visitors—and to our own neighbors, coworkers, and friends. This vision of hospitality is more than mere entertaining, of course. Entertaining includes setting out our best food, showing off our homes, and inviting our most attractive guests; it puts the focus on us. (Remember, Jesus didn’t own a home, and yet he is our model of hospitality.)

Biblical hospitality puts the focus on others. We are making space for them to experience friendship and belonging. We can invite disconnected believers into our homes as an expression of the love of the church.

We can serve and bless the single mother in our congregation by encouraging her to drop off her kids for a few hours.

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