“My parents knew that I needed additional influences in my life when I was a teenager, and they sought these out. I’m exceedingly grateful they did so that I would learn to follow Jesus. Sometimes the best way to communicate the importance of a principle is to show examples.”

“How should we have other people involved in discipling our children in their adolescent years?” In a recent panel discussion on discipleship in the church I pastor, that question was asked. The Scriptures teach us that “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety” (Proverbs 11:14). This truth holds for groups and individuals. The Apostle John and Timothy both benefited at a very young age from the mentoring of men beyond their own family, and we should not be afraid to emulate examples like these in the Scriptures as we seek godly mentors for our teenagers.

There are risks involved. We must take the necessary precautions as we encourage our young people to seek wisdom and help from others who can disciple them in ways we cannot as their parents. But the far greater risk is in leaving our teenagers isolated and disconnected.

Since every situation is different, there is no fixed way to bring the right influences into the lives of our adolescent children. Proverbs 27:10 instructs us “Do not forsake your friend and your father’s friend,” and so we understand that it is important for our children to know and be influenced by our friends (it’s also a good reminder that we ought to cultivate friendships with people who are the right kinds of influences on our children).

My father was and is a faithful man. He explained and exemplified life in Christ to me in the house, by the way, as we rose in the morning and when we went to be. He imparted the gospel to me and my siblings. He sacrificed for us, spent hours with us, encouraged us, taught us to work and play and be curious, gave us what needful, led us in family worship each day, emphasized the priority of the worship of the living God as members of Jesus’ church. Obviously, I could write about my father at length. It’s a retirement goal of mine to write a book about the blessing of growing up with my seven siblings in the David Faris family, so I’ll save more for that endeavor.

My parents knew that I needed additional influences in my life when I was a teenager, and they sought these out. I’m exceedingly grateful they did so that I would learn to follow Jesus. Sometimes the best way to communicate the importance of a principle is to show examples. What it means to be Jesus’ disciple is as much caught as taught, so I want to introduce you briefly to a few of the men who discipled me in my teenage years. Perhaps you’ll “catch” a bit of how I was blessed and think about what today’s youth need. What follows are brief sketches of six older men who influenced me significantly through my high school years. The Lord used many other wonderful coaches, teachers, and family members, including godly women, to shape me, but these are six men that the Lord used in special ways:

• Van Taylor – My parents wanted me to work as I grew up. As a friend of the family, Van took a not-very-disciplined eighth-grader on as a project when he hired me to work at Kirk’s Popcorn. Aside from my father, I spent more time with Van through my high school years than any other man. In this small family-run business, Van invested literally thousands of hours in me. He showed me how to work, how a business runs, how to love and motivate people, the importance of story-telling, how to relate to all kinds of different personalities, and how to discuss theology with those of different convictions. Van has since become the Director of the Kokomo Rescue Mission in Kokomo, Indiana, and he remains a great friend today.
• Grandpa Faris – Grandpa Faris was a retired pastor who lived near our home and who served as a ruling elder in a church planting effort in which we participated. I learned what grief is from him in my grandmother’s death when I was young. In my high school years, we would meet at the local country golf course after I got off work and we’d play a quick nine holes. Sometimes that happened six days a week. Some people thought it was just a glorified cow pasture; but it was like green pastures beside still waters to me with Grandpa Faris there. He taught me about contentment, joy, God’s covenant, and seeing the grace of God illustrated all around us in creation. He sat at our table each Saturday evening, and through the laughter and the stories and the singing, his love for the Lord gave me a very settled sense that we can indeed trust our sovereign Lord.

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