The following article is taken from the Unsettled Christianity Blog and written by a Lutheran theology student.  This article loudly begs for submissions of ‘You Might Be A Presbyterian if……’ and/or ‘You Might Be Dutch Reformed if……’ (or many, many other) responses.

You might be a Lutheran if…

…you only serve Jell-O in the proper liturgical color for the season.

…you didn’t know chow mein noodles were a Chinese food.

…when someone mentions red and green (in terms of Christmas), you immediately think of a battle over hymnals.

…during the entire service you hold your hymnal open but never look down at it.

…during communion you hum the hymns so you can see who’s at church that Sunday.

…rather than introducing yourself to a visitor at church, you check their name out in the guestbook.

…you think Garrison Keillor’s stories are totally factual.

…you have your wedding reception in the fellowship hall and feel guilty about not staying to help clean up.

…a midlife crisis means switching from the old hymnbook to the new one.

…you forget to put water in the baptismal font but never forget to put water in the coffee pot.

…the pastor skips the last hymn to make sure church lasts exactly 60 minutes.

…you make spaghetti at your house with the little macaroni noodles because they’re not so messy then.

…you don’t make eye contact when passing someone in the hall because you think it’s impolite.

…your choir believes volume is a fair substitute for tonality.

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[Editor’s note: the original URL (link) referenced in this article is no longer valid, so the link has been removed.]