When God describes self-control, he doesn’t downplay the agony of it. As Paul writes to Titus, self-control means we must “renounce ungodliness and worldly passions” (Titus 2:12). The word for renounce here is a severe word — the same word Jesus uses when he says, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me” (Luke 9:23). When we renounce ungodliness, we take something once precious to us and put it to death.

Self-control can sound so appealing. Until the time comes to actually say no.

Outside the moment of temptation, what Christian doesn’t want to present his members to God as instruments for righteousness (Romans 6:13)?

But then temptation comes, knocking on the door of our flesh like an old lover. We open the door a crack, and there she is: lust, bitterness, a cutting word — any one of our former darlings. Her appeals sound so reasonable. “Don’t I make you happy?” she asks. “Don’t you deserve to have me — just one more time? I promise I won’t come back again.”

And in a moment of insanity, our self-control disappears like a dream.

Say No

God knows. He knows that our temptations awaken something fierce within us.

When God describes self-control, he doesn’t downplay the agony of it. As Paul writes to Titus, self-control means we must “renounce ungodliness and worldly passions” (Titus 2:12). The word for renounce here is a severe word — the same word Jesus uses when he says, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me” (Luke 9:23). When we renounce ungodliness, we take something once precious to us and put it to death.

The “No” of self-control is not the calm “No” of a wedding RSVP. It is the terrible “No” of self-denial — of refusing to gratify the inner beast that barks for satisfaction. Self-control can feel like severing an arm or tearing out an eye (Matthew 5:29–30).

But God’s word doesn’t merely describe the anguish of self-control. God meets us in that dreadful moment, and tells us how we can meet our sin at the door, hear its desperate pleas, and still say “No.” Consider two simple but powerful reasons Paul gives to Titus: the grace of God has appeared, and the glory of God will appear.

Grace Has Appeared

Before Paul talks about renouncing ungodliness, he talks about grace: “The grace of God has appeared . . . training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions” (Titus 2:11–12). Once, we went to bed every night with our paramours, wrapped in the arms of God’s enemies. But now, the grace of God has appeared in the crucified and risen Christ. He has found our address, beat down the door, and like Hosea with Gomer, carried us out of the brothel.

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