So often, part of why we dread alone-ness is that we’re scared of our own thoughts. Worry and anxiety tend to come in at those times. When we fellowship with the Lord, when we go to him instead of getting away from those alone moments or the feelings of loneliness, we will find a new security, a new peace, and a new confidence in the Lord and in just getting through life.

Don’t Run from Loneliness, Run to God

If we will stop our mad dash toward escape—it feels panicky to stop, but if we’re willing, and if we will take that risk—we’re going to discover a deepening fellowship with the Lord that we would never know otherwise. It’s part of how he’s wired us to long for him, to yearn for him, and he loves to bless that when we seek him.

When we sit back in our alone time—for example, if we have a few hours by ourselves that we’ve dreaded in the past and we’ve done everything we can to get away from—we can take a step back, sit down, and just be in the moment of aloneness. Instead of being scared of it and running, just be in it, and take it to the Lord. Go to him and say, “I hate this. This is really hard. Who are you for me in this? Where are you for me in this?”

Wait for him. He will come and meet you there. You will find a release of fear. It may not happen in the first day you do it. But practice this day after day, week after week. And before long, you’re going to find fear evaporating, you’re going to find that you’re not afraid to go home by yourself anymore, you’re going to find when you’re driving in the car that you don’t need to turn on the music to get away from those lonely moments and the thoughts that come into your head.

Find a New Confidence

So often, part of why we dread alone-ness is that we’re scared of our own thoughts. Worry and anxiety tend to come in at those times. When we fellowship with the Lord, when we go to him instead of getting away from those alone moments or the feelings of loneliness, we will find a new security, a new peace, and a new confidence in the Lord and in just getting through life.

I remember when I was really lonely at one point, I didn’t want to face it, I didn’t want to deal with it, and I kept thinking, “If I just had a person to be with . . .” I wanted to never have to be by myself for an evening or a weekend.

And it finally hit me: what I need is not more plans or more people. I don’t have to have something lined up for every night or every weekend. I just need to love the Lord more, and I need to sit back, remember, and realize how much he loves me. With the simple realization of that reality at a heart level, I noticed within a very short amount of time—within a matter of days—that my fear of being alone was gone. I didn’t suddenly need to fill up that space anymore. And that isn’t unique to me. That’s what God wants all of us to discover, if we’re willing to stop running and turn to him.

This article is adapted from the book Finding God in My Loneliness by Lydia Brownback. This article appeared on Crossway.org and is used with permission.