Trauma has a tendency to run away from healing, especially if we have not cultivated a discipline of lament. We aren’t a very emotionally healthy people so collective trauma is going to have far-reaching consequences for us as a people. And the church, sadly, rather than helping is usually part of the puppet show. But it doesn’t have to be.

There is such a thing as collective trauma. And we’re smack dab in the middle of experiencing this. A pandemic, civic unrest, increasing polarization. We have had a difficult couple of years. And it’s taking it’s toll on our collective psyche.

I heard a word the other day to perfectly describe where many of us are; languishing. We aren’t all in the deepest pits of depression but we are most certainly not thriving. We’re somewhere in between those and probably leaning more towards the depressed side of the equation. We’ve become indifferent.

I am noticing this not only in the church that I pastor but in others with which I interact. I’m hearing it from many pastors. There is a reason why so many of us are feeling like failures right now and many are looking for work elsewhere. Last week Russell Moore asked, “Are Our Pastors in Trouble”? The answer is “yes. Yes, we are.” But so are our people. The two are connected.

We are collectively traumatized and it’s killing us because we’ve never really been taught how to grieve together, how to lament together, or even how to really truly praise together. And so we default to tearing one another apart.

Adam Grant is correct that we might not even notice that we are languishing:

Part of the danger is that when you’re languishing, you might not notice the dulling of delight or the dwindling of drive. You don’t catch yourself slipping slowly into solitude; you’re indifferent to your indifference. When you can’t see your own suffering, you don’t seek help or even do much to help yourself.

But that’s the thing with trauma that you need to know. It’s like a puppet master. All that trauma ahs to go somewhere. All that trauma will go somewhere. That pain, frustration, and disappointment is going to find a landing spot. It’ll wreck marriages, It’ll destroy friendships. It’ll create discontent with your church family, your church leaders, etc.

Read More