Why do we feel this way? Why does Facebook make us sad? Rest assured that the underlying problem is not unique to our generation but one that people, including Christians, have wrestled with since the fall. To put it bluntly, our problem is envy.

A number of recent articles have remarked how the social network site Facebook makes people sad. At first glance this observation might seem odd but upon further consideration it makes perfect sense.

Facebook is a place where people share their joys and excitement, posting pictures and comments about their marriages, pregnancies, children, fancy trips, new toys and other great things. But what happens if you are single, yet desperately want to be married, and all your Facebook friends are posting comments and pictures about getting engaged and married?

What happens when you want to have children, but can’t, and you are being bombarded by pictures of pregnant friends on Facebook? One lady who is having a hard time conceiving said in a Washington Post article that updates from pregnant friends feels like being kicked in the stomach and she has to unfriend them for a while.

Why do we feel this way? Why does Facebook make us sad? Rest assured that the underlying problem is not unique to our generation but one that people, including Christians, have wrestled with since the fall. To put it bluntly, our problem is envy.

This is why, as many people have noted, it is much easier to keep Paul’s instruction to weep with those who weep than it is to rejoice with those who rejoice. We can sympathize with friends who have lost something but the sin of envy makes it extremely difficult to be genuinely happy when our friends have gained something, which we don’t have but would love to have and may never have.

Christ, however, has come to save us from sin, including the sin of envy. In Christ we are transformed by his grace so that we can truly rejoice with those who rejoice. We can learn to be content in whatever situation we find ourselves in, to consider others more significant than ourselves, to love, which does not envy, and to take great pleasure in the prosperity of others, as if their prosperity were our own.

Although in Christ we can do these things, we do need to work at doing them. Holiness is a process and requires effort. And so here are some practical things you can do when you are engaged in the fight against envy:

1) Learn to stop thinking about yourself and your desires, and start thinking about others and their desires. Don’t merely look out for your own interests but also for the interests of others.

2) Pray for those who are blessed. The famous Bible teacher F. B. Meyer often ministered at D. L. Moody’s Northfield Bible Conference in Northfield, Massachusetts, and he always drew great crowds. But when the equally famous G. Campbell Morgan began preaching at Northfield, his stirring Bible studies attracted larger audiences. Meyer confessed to some of his close friends that he was tempted to feel envious of Morgan. “The only way I can conquer my feelings,” Meyer said, “is to pray for him daily, which I do.” (1)

3) Focus on the things that are of prime importance, remembering that God has blessed you with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places.

4) Don’t lose sight of what you do have because you are so focused on what you don’t have or what others have. Rejoice in what God has given to you.

5) Take note of the wickedness and destructive power of envy, and begin to hate this sin. Envy will destroy you (Prov. 14:30) and others (James 3:16). Saul is a prime example.

6) Recognize that envy is displeasure with God. Erwin Lutzer: “Envy is rebellion against God’s leading in the lives of his children. It’s saying that God has no right to bless someone else more than you.” (2)

7) Trust in your heavenly Father’s sovereign wisdom, love and power. He works in all things for your good (Rom. 8:29). And so use every opportunity to glory the Lord, grow in grace and love your neighbor.

(1) Morgan, R. J. (2000). Nelson’s complete book of stories, illustrations, and quotes (electronic ed.) (272). Nashville: Thomas Nelson Publishers.
(2) Morgan, R. J. (2000). Nelson’s complete book of stories, illustrations, and quotes (electronic ed.) (270). Nashville: Thomas Nelson Publishers.

D. Patrick Ramsey is Pastor of Christ Presbyterian Church (OPC) in London, Kentucky

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