Text Messages and Personal Notes. Within a few hours of our day beginning, we started receiving text messages of care and concern from those who love us. Nothing major. One such text, “We are thinking about you all today and sweet Kayla! We love you both and your precious family.” Another, “Praying for you and the family today as you reflect on your sweet girl and look forward to seeing her in heaven. Love you so much and sending big hugs to you.” One more example, “Just prayed for you two for today and wanted you to know. Will continue to pray throughout the day. I love you so much.” These are three examples of many. People reaching out.
This past Tuesday, we passed the dreaded date on the calendar of our daughter’s death back in 1999. Twenty-four years later, we have our memories, a date on the calendar of her birth and death, a grave at the cemetery, and, thankfully, hope in the resurrection. Plus, we have friends who share in our loss, friends who make the burden and memory of the day easier. As you walk with those who are suffering or have gone through grieving, you never know the level of your thoughtfulness or impact on them. In fact, unless you have been through deep suffering yourself, you may not have any idea. However, do not let that keep you from doing something.
How We Were Blessed This Year
Our family was blessed in a variety of ways this year on the anniversary of our daughter’s death. Let me list a few to possibly help you think through your own response to a grieving person. Further, if you are the grieving person, I want to help you as well.
To be honest, after twenty-four years, you do not really expect people to remember. In fact, if no one remembered the specific day or mentioned it, it would be no fault of their own. As parents, it is important to us because she is our daughter. It is our story, our life, and our journey. My children have another sister they never see this side of eternity; we have a daughter no one sees as well. Yet, she lives. Therefore, what we have of her is extremely important, including the two days on a calendar of the day of her birth and the day of her death.
On the other hand, we could never expect others to remember it. Life moves on. Every person lives a full life with their own stories, own dates, and own struggles. For us to take it personally if someone forgets would be tragic for us. We would increase our own pain without a legitimate cause.
Yet, we have been blessed again this year – in the twenty-fourth year of our daughter.
- Text Messages and Personal Notes. Within a few hours of our day beginning, we started receiving text messages of care and concern from those who love us. Nothing major. One such text, “We are thinking about you all today and sweet Kayla! We love you both and your precious family.” Another, “Praying for you and the family today as you reflect on your sweet girl and look forward to seeing her in heaven. Love you so much and sending big hugs to you.” One more example, “Just prayed for you two for today and wanted you to know. Will continue to pray throughout the day. I love you so much.”
These are three examples of many. People reaching out.
You might say to yourself, “But what if they’re not thinking about it today?” “Will I make their day sad?” To be honest, No. Even if in a moment the individual you reach out to is not thinking about their loss, that person will be encouraged by your thoughtfulness.
- Delivered Flowers. As you can see in the picture above, someone sent us a beautiful arrangement of flowers. Who, you may be wondering, would do that? We do not know. For years, someone has loved us enough to send a flower arrangement to us on our daughter’s annual day of loss.
We are so blessed by the gesture of love. Again, as I mentioned above, no one has to do this, nor is it expected. This act of kindness is an expression of personal sacrifice and love. Think about it. Someone has to preplan what he or she will do, has to pay for it, and then execute the plan. All of these things take time, resources, and commitment.
