“For you meet him with rich blessings; you set a crown of fine gold upon his head. He asked life of you; you gave it to him, length of days forever and ever. His glory is great through your salvation; splendor and majesty you bestow on him. For you make him most blessed forever; you make him glad with the joy of your presence. For the king trusts in the Lord, and through the steadfast love of the Most High he shall not be moved.”

Will all my days ahead feel like this? Will relief from sadness come? I remember days long ago when sorrow played a lesser role…but now, no matter how wonderful a day can feel, a cloud of sadness pairs along with it. 

The other day I thought about the current reality our family faces since losing our youngest. Well, at least my experience of our current reality. God continues to bring joyful moments and experiences to us, giving us kind providences to enjoy and be happy in. Yet, no matter how wonderful those experiences can feel, I find that remembrances of sadness in missing Isabel come always alongside the experience. 

I suppose we could succumb to depression because of this. And, I can understand how some do. How depressing it feels when wonderful events in life cannot be enjoyed completely without tinges of (or even greater) sadness saddling up right next to the enjoyment? That doesn’t mean we don’t enjoy those moments…of course we do. By God’s grace, we do. However, it feels like my grief is always there, too. 

It’s not either/or…it’s always both/and. 

Yet, how could it not be? Since we live in a fallen world broken by sin, we face life in this world not meant to carry our joys. Yes, wonderful things abound in God’s creation, and He brings true blessings in our days. And, at the same time, we are not meant to find our true joy in the here and now. 

So, blessings today will always pair with sorrows today. But, as the rabbits in The Green Ember say, “It will not be so in the Mended Wood.”

As I’ve mentioned before, in this life, our thoughts need to turn heavenly. And, thankfully, we can look to God’s Word to help us do so. 

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