There are times that God’s plans can leave us feeling in the dark, confused, hurt, distressed and full of questions. As we wrestle with these things, we can also be sure that Jesus will deal tenderly with us as we struggle to trust that His plans are good.

“When the feast was ended and they were returning, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem. His parents did not know” (Luke 2:43). Jesus’ family traveled on for the entire day and did not notice he was missing from their group. Whether it was that they were traveling in a caravan or each parent assumed he was with the other is unclear, but Jesus’ family traveled on, unaware that Jesus was absent from their party. Once they realized he was gone, it took three days of searching to locate him (Luke 2:46).

I’ve thought often about this passage because if I’m honest, it has always felt to me that Jesus was pretty insensitive to leave and not tell his parents. It seems careless of him to simply vanish and make no mention of it to his mom and dad. He was young; only 12 years old, and he disappeared for days on end. It’s always been hard for me to reconcile Jesus’ actions. Had any other child who was not God, any other son, behaved similarly, he would have been worthy of censure. Yet because it was Jesus, we know that there was no sin on his part and there is far more to the story than a cursory read reveals.

As I think about this interaction between Jesus and his parents, I think there are five lessons we can take away when God’s plans leave us in a place of pain, uncertainty or questions.

1. God’s plans will often leave us in the dark.

Jesus made plans to be in his Father’s house, unbeknownst to his parents. Joseph and Mary were left in the dark about Jesus’ plans to go to the temple. I don’t know why Jesus navigated his plans as he did, but it is clear that he left his parents in the dark about where he was going, which led to their distress.

There are times that God allows the same in our lives. I have had times where God’s plans have left me feeling totally in the dark. I have not understood what he is up to; even years past the event. While I can certainly see good that God has allowed to be drawn from the dark, the reality is that I have felt very confused, very distressed in the dark. We see that Jesus’ parents felt the same.

Simply because we feel in the dark does not necessarily indicate that we have missed God’s intent or plan. Rarely, if ever, are we privy to all of what God intends. In these moments that we feel we are in the dark about what God is up to, it will serve us well to remember that Jesus’ own parents felt this same distress, yet Christ’s plans were not outside of the will of his Father. It is the same for us.

2. There are times that God’s plans will leave us feeling hurt.

When Mary found Jesus, she responded as any other mother would respond; she rebuked him. “Son, why have you treated us so? Behold, your father and I have been searching for you in great distress” (Luke 2:48).

As I think about my own life, I’ve had the same question of Jesus that Mary had: Why have you treated me so? I have been in great distress. Why have you done that? I am hurting so deeply. Why have you allowed what you have? Why have you chosen what you did? Why God? It feels uncaring. It seems so insensitive.

While Mary was certainly responsible for her own reaction and response, the reality is that as a human, she was hurt by her son’s actions because she didn’t understand. I imagine she had hopes and expectations of how he would have treated her.

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