God actively wrestles with us. He’ll hold us at arms-length (still graciously hanging onto us) and letting us swing ourselves dry. And then in those moments, when we’re but a heap of tears and helplessness, He makes himself “grabbable.” He makes Himself able to be held onto and able to hear us cry out for His blessing.

Those little subheadings in your Bible can be helpful. But they can also keep us from discovering meaning. One of those places is in Genesis 32. Let me explain.

In the first part of this chapter, Jacob is overwhelmed with anxiety at the thought of having to face his brother. If you remember the story, Jacob has always gotten the upper hand on his brother. He was grasping at his heel as they exited the womb, and that pursuit defined his life. Jacob was always chasing something.

In Genesis 25, he sought Esau’s birthright. He capitalized on Esau’s hunger and gained this blessing for a bowl of stew. In Genesis 27, he further messes over his brother by deceiving Isaac. He dressed up like Sasquatch to pretend like he was Esau. Jacob received the blessing. In Genesis 29 he spent 7 years chasing a wife. And then after being tricked, spent another 7 years to get the wife he actually wanted. He chased after property and financial success working for Laban. And it worked. Jacob was filthy rich for his time.

But all of this chasing had a cost. There was a trail of broken relationships behind him. Which meant that Jacob wasn’t only chasing after things, he was also running away. In Genesis 32, you the anxiety pours off the page. He knows that he has wronged Esau, and figures he is about to receive his comeuppance. Don’t read this section as if Jacob has stopped striving. Here he is striving for relational peace. He needs things to be cool with Esau. Jacob is still a chaser.

Maybe you can identify with Jacob—always chasing after the next thing. According to Chuck DeGroat, this is the human condition:

Whether the lie comes from the serpent or a marketer, we are invited to chase: Chase love. Chase soothing. Chase acceptance. Chase achievement. Chase recognition. Chase numbness. Chase certainty. Chase perfection. I even have a little plastic card in my wallet with the words “Chase Freedom”. The reality is, it’s not a one-off addiction that we’re dealing with; it’s a whole way of living. We are immersed in an exhausting chase after those basic needs to feel safe, seen, soothed, and secure. The lie that it’s out there, the fruit on a tree, the bonus in your checking account, the seductive glance of the person sitting across from you in the coffee shop, the adrenaline hit of a well-timed truth bomb on social media. So we’ll keep chasing, keep grasping, keep striving, even if it costs us in body and soul.^[1]

Chasing and running is exhausting. No human can maintain it. That’s why we always hit a sort of rock bottom. Our finitude will always show itself. Whether that is from once again plunging headlong into an addiction or being sharp with your children. It always rises to the top. At first glance you might not see Jacob’s anxiety. It probably seems like he’s being a shrewd business person, once again slithering his way out of danger and into prosperity. But it’s all anxious.

He sends a host of gifts ahead of him, yet he also prays. And some commentaries view Jacob’s prayer here as a model prayer. Maybe so—but it’s dripping with worry and the fear of man. His prayer is similar to how we might pray when we become afraid. “Protect me. Keep me and my family safe. Help everything to work out. Give me this perfectly reasonable that I’m chasing after. You said, you’d do me good and this is what I think good looks like”.

It’s the prayer of a chaser.

Then he gets up from his prayer and goes into action. Which again, commentaries tend to praise his action here. He not only prays but he acts in accordance with that prayer. He uses his God-given noggin to make things better for himself and his family. It’s another plan to protect at least half of his assets.

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