When we pray, we want Jesus to act immediately, don’t we? We want Him to relieve our pain, to take away our sorrow. Instantly! We want answers now, not later. We want relief today, not tomorrow. Waiting is not our strong suit, especially in our “give-it-to-me-now” culture. And yet our Lord, because of His great love for us, often will not give us what we want. Like a loving Father who refuses to withhold pain from his child when that pain is for the child’s good, so too, our Savior refuses to answer our prayers when they are too shortsighted for our own good.

In the first article in this series, we explored why God at times says no to our most sincere requests. We wrestled with questions like: Why did you not answer my prayer, Lord? Why are you not easing my pain? Why are you not taking away my sorrow? I’ve asked with tears. I’ve asked with hope. I’ve asked in faith. I know You have the power to grant my request. I know You love me. So, why have You not moved?

And we explored these questions within the context of John 11, when Jesus waits four long days as Lazarus, the one whom he loved (11:3), dies. He said no to the urgent calls of Mary and Martha. You can hear it in their words: “Lord, if you had been here …” (11:21). He had healed so many other strangers, even from afar. Surely he would heal Lazarus—a friend. And yet, Jesus waited.

He seems often to do something similar with our prayers. We cry out with tears, and we theologically know he loves us, but he doesn’t move as we have pleaded. The silence seems to whisper, does he really love me then?

Why does God sometimes say no to our most earnest prayers?

Let’s resume the story from the previous article. Though Jesus waited and let Lazarus die, he did not leave Mary and Martha in the dark. He sent the messengers back with an important message: an explanation as to why He chose not to heal Lazarus, why He did not grant the sisters’ request, why He let Lazarus die.

And the answer Jesus gives these sisters is the same answer He gives us today.

For God’s Glory

First, Jesus refused to answer the sisters’ request because that was what would most exalt His Father’s glory. “For the glory of God” (John 11:4) was Jesus’ reasoning.[1] God being glorified was most important to Jesus (John 12:28)—and it is what must be most important to us. Why? Because God’s glory is always for our best. His glory is always for our joy. His glory is for our greatest good. And thus, we must be satisfied with God’s no, if that is how He sees fit to best put His glory on display. Did Jesus not model this Himself in Gethsemane (Matt 26:39–44)?

The overarching purpose of all that God does—including His no to many of our most heartfelt prayers—is the praise of His glorious name (Isa 48:11).[2] God will not grant our prayers if they will detract from His glory.

Jesus delayed so that His Father might receive maximum praise. He stayed away so that God’s mercy and grace would shine most bright. Jesus let Lazarus die because it was best for these sisters. In the words of one author, “God’s glory does not consist in sparing the faithful life’s difficulties.”[3] Indeed, quite often, God’s glory comes through life’s sorrows (Ps 30:5).

We Need His No

A second reason Jesus did not answer Mary and Martha’s request was because He saw the greater need of these sisters. More than a healer, they needed a Savior. More than a cure, they needed His cross. This is why Jesus adds, “so that the Son of God may be glorified” (John 11:4)—a reference to the sacrificial and atoning death of Jesus.

Think of John 12:23: “Jesus answered … ‘The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified’ ” (John 12:23, emphasis added). What hour was Jesus referring to? The appointed hour of His coming death, which Jesus makes clear in the next verse, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it will bear much fruit” (John 12:24, emphasis added). The hour of the Son’s death was the hour of His glory. In John 17:1, Jesus made the same connection, “Jesus … lifting up His eyes to heaven … said, ‘Father, the hour has come; glorify Your Son, that the Son may glorify You’” (John 17:1). The glory of Christ necessitated the cross of Christ.

By saying no to Mary and Martha, “Jesus began a chain of events that would lead in time to the cross.”[4] Jesus delayed His trip to Bethany to set the stage for the very miracle that would seal His death sentence. Jesus let Lazarus die to give the mourners time to gather in great number at the sisters’ home. By waiting, Jesus allowed Lazarus to be dead for four days, a cultural timestamp of death’s permanence.[5] By delaying, a large stone now locked the tomb’s entrance, the very symbol of death’s finality. All setting the stage for the greatest, most remarkable, and climatic miracle Jesus would perform in His lifetime. Why? So that word would get back to the religious leaders that Jesus did what no mere mortal could do: reach into Sheol, the realm that belonged to God alone, and snatch life from the claws of death (Ps 68:20). So that the Sanhedrin would finally meet and officially condemn Him to death. Jesus delayed so that He would die, which is exactly how the story of Lazarus ends: “Therefore the chief priests convened a council … Caiaphas, who was high priest that year, said to them … ‘it is expedient … that one man die.’ … So from that day they planned to kill Him” (John 11:47, 49, 53).

Here is the wisdom of Christ in unanswered prayer: He sees what we do not see. He knows what we need most. Though His delay meant temporary pain for the sisters, it also meant salvation for their souls. The sisters wanted Lazarus to live, but Jesus knew they needed Him to die. Here is the grace of Christ in unanswered prayer: though His no may bring us extreme sorrow, it is always with our eternal joy in mind. Though the sisters did not know it, they needed Jesus to say no to their request—as, so often, do we.

Remember, “God’s no to our prayers is always a yes to his providential purposes.”[6] The Lord only says no when we need Him to. His no is how He chooses to accomplish His redemptive purposes, while sanctifying us into the image of His Son. In the words of J.I. Packer,

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