In Western culture, self is king. We judge the merits of almost everything by the degree to which it brings us self-realization and self-advancement. Ralph Waldo Emerson charged, “It is easy to live for others, everybody does. I call on you to live for yourself.” And we have. The pursuit of dreams and the fulfillment of personal potential has become our highest priority. A recent Forbes article tells that in 2015, Millennials spent nearly twice as much on self-improvement than Boomers, even though their income is only half as much.

It used to be so straightforward. We got married, then we had children. It’s just what we did. But then something changed, so that today both marriage and having children have become optional, matters of preference. Countless millions are choosing to delay marriage or take a pass on it altogether. Many of those who choose to marry decide not to have children at all. In the face of these new realities we do well to ask: What’s the purpose of children? In the answer that follows, we will not consider methods of parenting or provide an explanation for why we should raise our children in certain ways. Rather, we will ask a far more foundational question, “What’s the purpose of having children at all?” In today’s world, which too often exalts self and writes off children as an inconvenience, this is a question we must ask and answer.

Common Views of Children

In Western culture, self is king. We judge the merits of almost everything by the degree to which it brings us self-realization and self-advancement. Ralph Waldo Emerson charged, “It is easy to live for others, everybody does. I call on you to live for yourself.” And we have. The pursuit of dreams and the fulfillment of personal potential has become our highest priority. A recent Forbes article tells that in 2015, Millennials spent nearly twice as much on self-improvement than Boomers, even though their income is only half as much.

This individualistic culture has a profound effect on our understanding of children. When self is at the center, children are regarded as yet another means of self-realization—one that can be pursued or rejected according to personal preference. Those who choose to have children do so only when it is convenient; when they are in a stable place in life, relationship, and career; and when the burden of having them will be as small as possible. Little wonder, then, that the percentage of women between 40 and 44 who have never had children doubled between 1976 and 2006. Children have become an optional accessory to a well-rounded, successful life. Many people essentially believe that the purpose of children is to add value to the lives of their parents.

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