One of the Messiah’s great promises is that he will “turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers” (Malachi 4:6). He does this as he draws us into the perfect and eternal reality that parent-child relationships point to.

“He who does violence to his father and chases away his mother is a son who brings shame and reproach.”
—Proverbs 19:26

Today’s generational dynamic splits in two bad directions, with a vast but sparsely traveled middle ground.

On the one hand, young adults are taking longer to become adults. 27-year-old Vincent, living in his parents’ home, driving DoorDash when he feels like it, and surfing the web into the wee hours of the morning now has good company. The age of every responsibility benchmark (getting married, having kids, full-time employment, financial independence, living in your own home) has risen substantially in the past generation.

There’s an equally grim narrative, however, that can be told from another angle. Somewhere around 25% of adults are estranged from at least one of their parents. Most people my age (38) and younger expect to finish out their days in a care facility of some sort. None of these realities happen as faceless statistics, or represent unilateral evils. It can be a sweet blessing for adult children to live with their parents. Likewise, care facilities provide game-changing options and resources for aging.

The real question is what does this proverb have in view when it condemns children spurning their parents? Because of all the complexities and sinful dysfunction that can make up parent-child relationships, it will help to think how this would apply to the most extreme case, then work outward from there.

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