In Jesus, we see a love that is stronger than death, fueled by divine passion, and of immeasurable value. This is the love that saves us, sustains us, and calls us to love others in return. It’s the love that changes everything. Jesus loves us this way. How do husbands and wives love each the same way?

Big Idea: Marriage requires a love that is costly and unbreakable, boundaries that protect the relationship, and a pursuit that never ends.

I’ve had the privilege of presiding over many weddings, and I love the entire journey. It’s a joy to support couples from their engagement through premarital counseling to their wedding vows. I sometimes get to accompany them for years, seeing them build their lives, welcome children, and grow together.

As I watch couples drive away after their wedding, I often wonder about their future. Will they experience more of the better or the worse, more of the richer or the poorer, more of the sickness or the health? How will they handle the challenges, joys, and trials of building a life together, aging, and navigating marriage?

Three Requirements

We’re in the grand finale of the Song of Songs. It’s a bit of a grand finale. Every character in the Song appears in the end, just like they do in a play. You have the couple, their companions, the brothers, King Solomon, and the mother. As one commentator (R. Davidson) writes:

We are witnessing something like the curtain call at the end of a play or musical. One by one the leading characters come forward, take a bow, and through a characteristic action or by a few well chosen words, recall what has gone before.

Chapter 8 is a bit tricky. It’s very hard to trace the themes of this chapter with precision. But as best I can tell, this last part of the book ties some of the themes together and tells us three things that married love requires. They will vary from deep to practical, which reflects the essence of marriage.

What does married love require? Here’s the first thing:

An costly, unbreakable love (8:5-7)

Who is that coming up from the wilderness,

leaning on her beloved?

Under the apple tree I awakened you.

There your mother was in labor with you;

there she who bore you was in labor.

(8:5)

“Who is that coming up from the wilderness?” echoes the wedding scene from 3:6, but now it’s just a woman returning to reality from the wilderness.

Every couple faces this transition. Almost every couple goes from the excitement of a new relationship to the drudgery of alarm clocks, work demands, laundry, and bills.

In the next few verses, you get an overview of everything that they’re going to face in their lives. It’s like their entire lives are collapsed into just a few verses:

• marriage in the first part of verse 5
• sex in the second part of verse 5
• children in the third part of verse 5
• and eventually death in verse 6

What will help them adapt to reality and support them throughout their lives? Verses 6 and 7 tell us. It’s one of the most profound passages not just in this Song but in all of literature:

Set me as a seal upon your heart,

as a seal upon your arm,

for love is strong as death,

jealousy is fierce as the grave.

Its flashes are flashes of fire,

the very flame of the LORD.

Many waters cannot quench love,

neither can floods drown it.

If a man offered for love

all the wealth of his house,

he would be utterly despised.

(Song of Songs 8:6–7)

What do they need? Love. This love is strong, invaluable, and reflects both the best of human love and God’s profound love for his people.

What kind of love do couples need?

Couples need a love that is enduring. It’s as strong as death and as unrelenting as the grave. It’s a love that is both intense and permanent. Just as death is inevitable and the grave is inescapable, true love is unshakable and enduring. It’s not fleeting or conditional; it’s a force that holds fast through every circumstance. They’re going to need this kind of love, because everything in life will try to extinguish your love for your spouse. You need a love that’s stronger than all of the challenges that will come your way. You need a love that’s as strong as death.

Second, couples need a love that’s fiercely passionate. It’s like a blazing fire, the very flame of the Lord. They need a love that is both powerful and inextinguishable. This imagery captures love’s divine origin and also its consuming power. Love isn’t only a human emotion; it’s a reflection of God’s nature. It’s holy, passionate, and transformative, capable of igniting hearts and sustaining relationships through life’s challenges.

Third, couples need a love that’s priceless. No amount of wealth can buy it, and no flood can extinguish it. Love is beyond material value and human control. It’s a gift to be cherished, not a commodity to be traded or manipulated.

You need a love that is enduring, fiercely passionate, and priceless.

That’s all. Talk about a high standard! But that’s not elite-level marriage. That’s what every marriage is going to need.

Love is both a gift and a responsibility. If you get married, it is going to cost you all of your faithfulness, sacrifice, and devotion. It is going to cost you everything. Married love is a deep, lifelong commitment between one man and one woman, characterized by devotion and jealousy, lasting from their wedding until death.

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