The pastor’s home, as they say, is his first congregation. His home life is his primary ministry and a test of his qualifications for leading the church. To “succeed” in ministry and fail at home is to fail.
In most professions, one’s personal life remains private. But pastoring is different. It’s more than a profession, and how a pastor lives at home profoundly impacts his ministry.
According to Paul, what happens at home makes or breaks his ministry.
His marriage matters. An elder must be “the husband of one wife” (1 Timothy 3:2, Titus 1:6). This is perhaps the most disputed qualification on the list. At the very least, it means that the pastor is not a polygamist. He is maritally and sexually faithful to his wife. He is a one-woman man.
His parenting and household management matters. He must manage his household well (1 Timothy 3:4-5; Titus 1;6-7). His children are respectful and well-disciplined, not perfect but not habitually disregarding parental guidance. His children honor him, reflecting his loving and responsible spiritual leadership.
His hospitality matters. Hospitality is a relational qualification that often begins in the home. An elder must be “hospitable” (1 Timothy 3:2, Titus 1:8), opening his home and life to others. This shows a generous heart and a desire to serve, both publicly and privately.
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