What do God’s people do when they come to the most significant milestones in this life? I’m thinking about the “big three” – birth, marriage, death.

To use one Old Testament description, they “call upon the name of the LORD.” After Abraham first arrived in the Land of Promise, “he built an altar to the LORD and called upon the name of the LORD” (Genesis 12:8). When the Psalmist experienced a great deliverance (probably from death), and asked himself, “What shall I render to the LORD for all his benefits to me?” the answer he gave himself was, “I will lift up the cup of salvation and call upon the name of the LORD” (Psalm 116:13).

But what is it to call upon the name of the LORD? It is to come before God in the company of his people and worship him. We acknowledge who he is in all his perfections; we give thanks for all he has done for our redemption; we give him praise and adoration; we seek from him blessings of his grace.

What do we do at birth? When a child is born, we bring him/her to the church gathered in worship, and we call upon the name of the LORD in baptism. We acknowledge that our child is a gift from God, and belongs to him. We say with God that our children are holy (1 Corinthians 7:14), and solemnly acknowledge that they are not of the world but the church. We take hold of the covenant God has made to be our God and God of our offspring after us (Genesis 17:7), to save us who believe in the Lord Jesus and our households (Acts 16:31). We commit ourselves, in dependence on God’s grace, to use the means God has appointed for bringing our children up in our faith. We apply the sign and seal (the water of baptism) of God’s love for our children and of Christ’s dying to cleanse them from the guilt and corruption of sin. Baptism is not a sentimental ceremony (such as some churches that practice “child dedication” practice), but a calling upon the name of the Lord in response to his promises.

What do we do at marriage? Some Protestants, not wanting to imply with the Roman Catholics that marriage is a sacrament, have contended that, since marriage is for all and is therefore a civic not ecclesiastical relationship, there ought to be no ceremony except that which the civil government uses to recognize the marriage of two persons. And, we, who do believe that the church has a role in marriage, still acknowledge that the presiding minister acts not only as an agent of Christ’s church but at weddings as an agent of the state government.

The reason I believe that it is appropriate to have a service of worship within whose context the marriage takes place is because the church has a lot to say about marriage. The church identifies the group from whom we may choose marriage partners (“only in the Lord” I Corinthians 7:39) and those whom Scripture teaches are free to marry or re-marry. The church says upon what conditions a marriage can be abrogated (the grounds allowed by the Bible and Confession are different from those recognized by the state). The church teaches Christians what redemption means for marriage (Ephesians 5:22-33), and those are things it cannot mean for those who are outside the church.

Hence it is right that marriage take place in the context of the worship of the church, that the couple and God’s people should call upon the name of the Lord as two Christians are joined in marriage. We read Scripture, we preach the word, we pray to God, we take solemn vows as an act of worship. Those vows are taken in “the face” (presence) of God and the congregation. A Christian wedding involves worship, and that worship is regulated by the church under the guidance of Scripture.

What do we do when someone dies? We bow before God in worship, we acknowledge that our loved one (or ourselves) belongs to God in Christ, and we seek the grace of God’s comfort. I believe it is unfortunate that in some communities visitation at the funeral home is considered more important than attendance at the funeral. Visitation has its place; and, if we are providentially hindered from attending the service, it is our opportunity to express our Christian bond with the departed and the loved ones. But, the most important thing is the gathering of the congregation to call upon the name of the Lord, which begins with the opening sentences and concludes with the committal and benediction at the grave.

Weddings, baptisms, and funerals are not times to “put our personal mark” on the service, though in prayers and explanation of God’s Word, there are personal aspects to each. But, when someone dies, when one is born or marries, we come to the church, and we ask the church to conduct its service of worship for the glory of God and the comfort of ourselves. We do our grieving before God with his people, and we find our comfort in God and among his people. We proclaim to ourselves and the world that those who die in Christ are now in their spirits with him, that their bodies in their graves are yet united to Christ, and that we commit them both to the earth and to God in the sure and certain hope of the resurrection to eternal life.

It is the mark and the regular practice of Christians to worship God. We do that every Lord’s Day. It is only in the context of a life of regular and frequent worship that we can sincerely and with expectation of blessing turn to God and call upon his name at life’s turning points. What do Christians do when they come to one of life’s milestones? They worship!
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William H. Smith is pastor of Covenant Presbyterian Church in Louisville, Miss.