Sex and marriage are never merely private matters or individual pursuits for personal gratification. They are gifts designed by God to be enjoyed within the larger framework of the community, reflecting his purposes and glory. When you attend a wedding, you’re not merely a guest or an observer. You’re part of the community that is supporting the legitimacy of what is taking place. You’re not just a spectator; you’re a witness and supporter of what is taking place.

There’s nothing quite like a wedding. Even the most cynical among us can’t help but be moved when a groom stands at the front, waiting, and the bride begins her walk down the aisle. Their expressions and exchanged vows reveal that we’re witnessing something more meaningful than just the moment. And we are! Weddings give us a glimpse of something transcendent, something at the very heart of the universe. Ultimate reality is relational, and God created this universe with marital romance in mind.

We just read a wedding scene that enhances our understanding of marriage and highlights the ultimate marriage that defines all others.

What is a wedding? Three things. Here’s the first.

A Wedding Is Regal

Here’s the question that is asked in 3:6:

What is that coming up from the wilderness
like columns of smoke,
perfumed with myrrh and frankincense,
with all the fragrant powders of a merchant?

A spectacle is approaching. They can see it from a distance. You can sense the anticipation as people look and try to figure out who and what it could be.

Eventually, it becomes clearer what it is in verses 7 to 11. It’s a palanquin or litter, as verse 7 calls it. You may have seen one in pictures. It’s made for royalty. It’s a carriage without wheels, carried by attendants on poles. It’s beautiful, according to verses 9 and 10. It’s crafted from Lebanese wood with silver posts, a golden canopy, and purple upholstery lovingly embroidered by Jerusalem’s daughters. And it’s being carried by 60 mighty men who are armed, experts in war. This is a spectacular scene.

But who is in this palanquin? That is a little tricky to figure out. The simplest answer is that it is Solomon. After all, it’s described as Solomon’s palanquin in verses 7 and 9. And the daughters of Zion are told to go out and look at Solomon in verse 11. There are some hints, though, that it could be the woman arriving.

Here’s the main point. The book features a love story between a peasant couple, with the peasant man transformed into Solomon on his wedding day. Eric Ortlund puts it well:

Instead of two rural peasants, the groom sees his bride like an exotic princess, while the bride sees her groom as no less glorious than Solomon himself… Their love elevates what may have been a very humble wedding into a royal one.

The couple’s grand wedding celebration resembles Solomon’s in its glory.

Isn’t that similar to what happens at a wedding? You’re used to seeing the couple in jeans and t-shirts. But on the wedding day, they’re transformed into royalty. They become nobility.

This tells us something about the nature of marriage. A man and a woman coming together to exchange vows is noble and exhilarating. A wedding is regal. It reveals some of the nobility that God has given us. We should value marriage regardless of our own status because weddings showcase its nobility.

A wedding is regal. Here’s the second thing we see:

A Wedding is Passionate

Chapter 4 to the first part of 5:1 describes the wedding night. This is the apex of the song, and the exact center. “It acts as a kind of fulcrum or centre of gravity about which other counterbalancing scenarios are suspended” (Tom Gledhill). This is intentional. This book is structured with this scene at its center.

For the first time, in verses 8 to 12, he refers to her as his bride. This chapter will showcase a new marital intimacy that they have long desired and are just starting to experience.

In verses 1 to 7, the groom enjoys his bride’s beauty. That’s why he says in verse 1 and then in verse 7:

Behold, you are beautiful, my love,
behold, you are beautiful!…
You are altogether beautiful, my love;
there is no flaw in you.

Some of his descriptions seem a little odd to us. If you take them literally, then she would have looked very unusual indeed. We’re supposed to remember that this is poetry, and that these are metaphors. For instance:

• Her eyes shine with innocence and beauty behind her veil, like gentle doves (4:1).
• Her hair flows thick, dark, and wavy, resembling goats cascading down a mountainside (4:1).
• Her teeth stand perfectly white, evenly matched, and complete—like freshly washed sheep, each with twins, none missing (4:2).

And so on. She looks absolutely perfect to him, and he’s captivated by her beauty. Even though there’s clearly some sizzle happening here, nothing here is dirty. Nothing in what he says is vulgar in any way.

In fact, as Jim Hamilton points out, there’s new creation language here. His language includes imagery of Noah’s deliverance (doves), God’s blessings of fertile fields and healthy flocks, divine victory at Jericho (scarlet thread), and a new Adam protecting Eden (David’s tower).

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