Suffering regularly reveals to me just how weak and feeble I truly am. Stress has a way of graciously reminding me how desperately in need of him I am. I can honestly affirm with Paul that God’s grace is sufficient for me, and that his strength is made perfect in my weaknesses.

In the shadows of your wings I take refuge, till the storms of destruction pass by.
Psalm 57:1

There exists a temptation for those of us working overseas, in various ministry or non-profit sectors. Perhaps you, like me, fall into holding a little too tightly (and falsely) to this line of thinking:

I should be exempt.

It’s not surprising, when we recognize that many of us have sacrificed quite a lot to do what we do, and have accordingly experienced unusual amounts of hardship and stress.

So when a routine test comes back labeled “abnormal,” and I am told to “slightly urgently” proceed to another doctor for follow-up tests, my reaction to God, rather ashamedly, was I should be exempt! Isn’t there some special protection given to those who have given so much already?

Apparently not. While my mind knows better and my theological training rebukes me, my heart resists yet another opportunity to lean fully into Jesus in trust. What is it that leads to this line of thinking? Here are some fallacies that I have been addressing in my own heart and mind:

Suffering is something I must avoid. While suffering is a result of the fall, in Christ we find our firm foundation in the sovereignty of God (see Job 1). While suffering may be excruciatingly uncomfortable and full of sorrow, it is not outside the goodness of God somehow, and he has every intention of using it for our good and his glory, if we choose to let him. This suffering, this particular hardship is another opportunity to lean deeply into trust and realign my heart with Christ’s faithfulness.

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