Christians should rejoice when God brings a sexually immoral sinner from death to new life. They should encourage and build up such people in the church, and they should never blanketly bar another person from entering into relationships with them.

Recently, there was a something of a dust-up in Christian circles on the social media platform known as X. Pastor Tom Buck of First Baptist Church of Lindale, TX was involved in a debate regarding Christian men who appeared to be arguing that no woman with a promiscuous past should be considered marriage material despite being a repentant Christian in the present. Pastor Buck articulated his position well when he wrote,

If someone argues that a former promiscuous woman is “damaged goods” and questions whether a Christian young man should marry her, remember Rahab.

She was a Canaanite prostitute but became a mother in the lineage of Jesus. God redeemed her, cleansed her, and Salmon married her.

Despite Pastor Buck’s clearly biblical and gospel-oriented post, many continued to argue against his position, sometimes leaving questionable and denigrating remarks. However, this does raise the question: how should young Christian men, and women, view potential spouses who have significantly sinful pasts? When considering this question, there are numerous perspectives to take into account, three of which will be considered here: personal preferences, wisdom, and the transforming work of the Holy Spirit.

The simplest of these is personal preferences. All people have preferences they are looking for in a potential relationship partner. This can include appearance, ideological and cultural comparability, emotional connection, education, work ethic, and more. These are the things that most people would find personally attractive and would draw their attention to someone in particular. They are also the things that people might be most willing to compromise on. For instance, a man might have a personal attraction to redheads. But if he met a woman who was brunette, but attractive in her personality, attentiveness, and other characteristics, hair color would not be a showstopper. It is perfectly fine for people to have preferences for certain types of people. There is no biblical mandate for Christians to pursue a spouse with whom they have no attraction or connection.

The second consideration, wisdom, is extremely important for the Christian when considering whom one would want to pursue in marriage. Proverbs 4:7 tells us,

The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom,
and whatever you get, get insight.

The pursuit of wisdom is not optional for the Christian, for wisdom is connected to fearing and loving the Lord (see Prov. 9:10). Therefore, when Christians, both men and women, are considering whom they should seek out in marriage, they must make wise and biblically informed decisions.

There is no denying that our culture is awash in sexual and moral degradation. One cannot turn on the TV, skim through streaming services, or even peruse the internet without being exposed to some of the most graphic forms of sexual immorality. It is not only considered acceptable that people treat sexual intimacy as a form of entertainment, but young people today are treated as outcasts if they do not engage in multiple forms of immoral behavior with multiple partners. Certainly, biblical wisdom demands that Christians not only engage in sexual purity prior to marriage, but also avoid those who promote and engage in sexually immoral behavior. In fact, King Solomon in Proverbs 7 gives repeated counsel to his son to avoid the wiles of the adulteress. Christians would be wise to consider that counsel.

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