21 – 40 points = Goatee Guy  Right now, you’re wearing Pumas and drinking a coffee that has fourteen words in its name. It’s cool, I have Pumas on too. You’ve gone over to the Salmon side. (This is the side where instead of saying “pink” you say things are “salmon” or “melon” or “coral.”) You rarely play a hymn and style yourself after Jeremy Camp. For breakfast you had something with “wheat grass” in it.

This morning (10/5/12) I am speaking at the Catalyst Conference. As you read I am somewhere in Atlanta pacing nervously before I speak like a jungle cat, pacing excitedly on the stage like a jungle cat, grabbing as many free granola bars as I can find like a jungle cat.

I am nothing if not consistent.

Given the day, I thought it might be good to look back on one of the posts that Catalyst inspired. It felt right today. And so we discuss,

“Understanding how metrosexual your worship leader is.”

I wrote this post because no one has quantified this phenomenon.

There are some things in life that are concrete and true. For instance, it is a fact that “You’re all I want for Christmas” by Mariah Carey and “Christmas in Hollis” by Run DMC are fantastic songs. No argument there. But when you tell someone about your church, there’s not a standard system to describe the degree of metrosexuality your worship leader possesses. Wouldn’t it be awesome to say, “You’ll love my church and the music. Our worship leader scored a 78 on the SCL Metro Test.”

Don’t answer that last question. It was rhetorical. As a service to churches around the world, here is an easy rating system by which to analyze to what degree your worship leader is a metrosexual.

1. Has a faux hawk hair style = +1

2. Has more product in his hair than your wife = +1

3. Has Rob Bell, black rimmed glasses = +1

4. They are not prescription, but just for effect = +2

5. Attends the Catalyst Conference = +3

6. Performs at the Catalyst Conference = +10

7. Owns Puma, Vans or Diesel sneakers = +2 per each pair

8. Wears jeans on stage = +1

9. Wears designer jeans on stage = +2

10. Wears Wrangler or Rustler jeans on stage = -3

11. Has a goatee = +2

12. Wears one of those Castro revolution looking hats = +2

13. Drinks coffee on stage = +1

14. Drinks some kind of coffee you did not know existed = +2

15. Brings a French Press on stage and makes his own coffee during service = +5

16. Has a handlebar mustache, that is not for irony = -3

17. Good at Frisbee but hates getting all “sweaty” = +1

18. Has a haircut that covers one of his eyes while singing = +1

19. Owns a white belt = +2

20. Owns suspenders = -3 (That’s more for the hipster list which we need to create)

21. Wears a scarf with a t-shirt = +1

22. Wears a winter knit hat even in the summer = +2

23. You think he covered a My Chemical Romance song last week = +3

24. Drives an Audi or VW, silver of course = +2

25. Uses the words, “postmodern, relevant” or “emergent” nonstop = +2

26. Cringes a little when people say the “H word.” (Hymnal) = +3

27. Has ever said some form of the phrase, “That song is so 1990s” = +1

28. Owns a Grizzly Adams red and black flannel shirt = -2 (Again, too Americana hipster.)

[Editor’s note: This article is incomplete. The link (URL) to the original article is unavailable and has been removed.]