“We can justify anything if we try hard enough, right? But the only way to justify adultery is closing our eyes to the terrible costs it exacts in our lives and the lives of those closest to us. We can all do the math for ourselves, but by my counting there are at least eight major reasons to run, not walk, from infidelity.”

The Ashley Madison hack has spurred a lot of talk about adultery. An untold number of its clients have already resigned jobs or been served divorce papers. A few have even committed suicide.

Several years ago a friend of mine had an affair. It was like dropping an atomic bomb in his life. He lost his wife, his kids, his home, his friends, and more.

It’s impossible to fully appreciate the devastation caused by his decision—people are still hurting years later. But counting the cost of infidelity is something we should all do.

We can justify anything if we try hard enough, right? But the only way to justify adultery is closing our eyes to the terrible costs it exacts in our lives and the lives of those closest to us.

We can all do the math for ourselves, but by my counting there are at least eight major reasons to run, not walk, from infidelity.

1. It’ll cost your reputation. People in our culture disagree about morality, but there’s remarkable agreement about one sin: infidelity. It’s wrong and everyone knows it.No one’s handing out scarlet A’s today, but people will find out, and they will not forget—even if some are gracious enough to forgive.
2. It might cost your job. Most affairs start at work, and many affairs end careers. If you’re in ministry, this is a given. You’re canned. You might get reinstated or hired at another church, but don’t count on it.Depending on company policy, you could get the axe in all sorts of other job environments, too—especially if you’re having an affair with a subordinate. You might as well update your resumé right now. Even Ashley Madison’s CEO is on the street after the hack and news of his own affairs.
3. It’ll cost you money. The bad thing about losing your job is that affairs are expensive. Secrecy and coverups come at a price—a couple thousand dollars, easy. But it won’t end there. Divorce lawyers aren’t cheap. If it’s contested, and it probably will be, plan on fifteen or twenty thousand down the drain—along with roughly half your assets. And don’t forget alimony and child support.

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