I say this carefully.  Many have been unnecessarily wounded by well-meaning people who make the problem worse, not better.  Quoting Bible verses glibly to a person in pain or grief is certainly not helpful.  There is a time for prayers, physical presence, and silence.  But Alyssa did it right:  She already knew me very well, she gave me her time, her compassion, her help, and when the time was right, she told me the Truth. 

Several weeks ago, Alyssa came over on my darkest day.  I was physically, emotionally, and mentally at my lowest point.  I had stayed home from work.  I felt like a failure–helpless and hopeless.  I was completely overwhelmed to the point where even picking up a sock on the floor felt beyond my capability.

She cried with me.  She listened.  And listened.  And listened some more.  She asked lots of questions.

Over the next couple of days, Alyssa continued to come over for several hours a time.  Sometimes she just sat with me.  Sometimes she made me laugh.  Sometimes she nagged me to eat.

Towards the end of that particularly low week, we were in my kitchen, and I was fretting about the various ways I was trying to fix myself.  Should I try [this particular method]?  I asked her.

She paused for a moment.  Then she looked me straight in the eye and said, Amy, before you try anything else, I think you need to stop believing lies.  About yourself.  About God.  Then she listed them for me.  You know what is true, and you need to start believing it.

She was direct.  And firm.  And it was exactly what I needed to hear.

Two years ago, I wrote a blog called When I Am Not Sane.  At the end I wrote, If I ever get to Ground Zero again, I will get help a lot sooner than I did the first time.  But my first line of offense would be to get others in my life to help me fight the battle for what is True.

Emotions can be untamed horses.  They can define our universe.  They can overwhelm us with lies and conquer rational thought.  And sometimes, it’s not a battle we can fight on our own.  We need those friends who will battle it with us, and pound the Truth into our heads.  Even if it hurts.

This goes against our instincts in friendship.  We want to make each other feel good.

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