These aren’t laws that we must always follow, but perhaps helpful speed bumps to help us slow down our words when our patience is running thin. I believe we will learn to be better stewards of our words as a whole if we heed the warnings and wise words from Proverbs. There’s much wisdom in letting our words slowly simmer in our hearts and patiently waiting for the best moment to express them.

While I’m the one who does the majority of the cooking in our home, my husband is the one who has the true patience of a cook. When he fries meat for us, he gradually simmers the onions and meat on low heat so they are not only thoroughly cooked, but also laden with flavor.

But when I fry vegetables or meat, I crank the stove burner to the highest setting. Sometimes my hurried method works, but in the process I usually get splattered by sizzling oil. Other times it results in a crispy outer layer and under-cooked food inside. Other times my food is burnt beyond edibility.

My husband has this same patience for starting a fire. He will slowly work to build the fire up, carefully adding one piece of kindling at a time to keep from smothering the flame. I, on the other hand, will throw all the wood I can on top of the smallest cinder in hopes that I can walk away and let the fire do its work of burning and warming our home.

Patience is a virtue I am continually chipping away at. In a similar way to these ordinary tasks, I’m learning to be slow and patient with my words as well. And I find these two pictures of patience from my husband to be a helpful reminder of what that patience looks like.

The Wisdom of Letting Our Words Slowly Simmer

With social media, a quick response to someone else’s words is primed for us. There’s a box below their post for us to type out our comments and publish them immediately. There’s a retweet or share button with the option of including our own thoughts in tandem with theirs. Articles come with share buttons littered all around, followed by a comment section at the end.

We likewise have the ease to publish our own thoughts on a blog or a social media account. Within the same hour that we have a thought, it can be published for anyone to read and react to.

This kind of writing, responding, and reacting is similar to my hurried ways of cooking. It’s perhaps a quicker way to get the job done, and sometimes it may even work out in our favor. But sometimes it may go up in flames. Or, if we escape the flames, we and our readers may get burned by the splattering oil. As it says in Proverbs, “When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent” (Prov. 10:19, emphasis mine).

Our first reaction may not be the best one; it’s often rash, perhaps even angry or hurt, and hasn’t taken into consideration the counsel of God. A quick word hasn’t taken the time to assume the best of others. In this way, our initial reaction is often only emotional, rather than emotions guided by truth. As the writer of Proverbs warned, “A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back,” (Prov. 29:11).

This is why there is wisdom in letting our words slowly bake and simmer in our hearts and minds before making them known. A person who wants to steward their words well takes time to turn their words over in their mind. Rather than trusting their own judgment, they might share their words with trusted friends before publishing them. If we wish to be wise (and not like the fool), we should hold our tongues and restrain our words when they first boil up in our hearts (Prov. 17:27).

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